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I try to go on crowd noise as much as commentator to get an idea of what's going on. As much as I liked his commentary, Clive was terrible for making a situation sound more dramatic than it really was.

This is awful. I get really irate with Gurney for how he pronounces Torp's name. TorP.

Yes, but I still think we need to take something against Bristol City.

Other than goals and moments of high skill, I only ever enjoy football in retrospect. We have to be at least four goals up with no more than 15 minutes to play for me to genuinely relax and start enjoying a game. In fact, whilst I look forward to and am excited by the prospect of games, I...

Isn't the record a women's football match? Either way, women's football and rugby don't have segregation, so you can legally get more in.

It was at Villa, but I don't remember much sexy football. Mainly Portugal passing it around in front of the Czech defence. It was the Poborsky lob game.

Rocked up to the Portugal v Czech Republic quarter final at that tournament and paid on the gate. Couldn't do that any more.

Ideally, what we need from tonight is for both sides to completely lose their heads, end up in an enormous brawl involving all players, subs, managers, backroom staff and police. Someone may even punch the ref. The fall out from this is such that both sides suffer a significant points deduction...

No, just an adult.

Grow up, you fucking twat.

They were clinical, but that was such a naive defeat, a bit like the Norwich one. We deserved nothing with a defensive performance like that, but at the same time, they were lucky to win. It was an odd game.

It's not. A coin flip is chance, a football match is not.

Please. There's no hoodoo. Claiming there was is to take credit from our performance, suggesting it was something other than hard work, good tactics and good football. That sounds more like being salty than anything else. Moan that you have lost the last few against us all you like, but don't...

Don't think that's true at all. In the last three games between the sides, Middlesbrough played well, just we played better. It was fine margins in all of them. The game at the Riverside was a superb advert for Championship football. Not every defeat is a wank performance.

Aye. Functionally level. There comes a point when if you are analysing it to the nth degree, that the thing you are looking for ceases to have any relevance. Completely agree that if you must use VAR for offside, then a cursory check after each goal, and if there's not an obvious error (let's...

There's sense in there, too. When it comes down to it, so many football fans are precious little princesses crying at the slightest perceived sleight. I laughed at the person who said he was an overrated player though. Hello, what, please?

Tottenham lacking in attack, midfield, defence, and 'brain', says new manager. Apart from that, they're sound.

Yay! More VAR!

The Pope's Catholic. Bears shit in woods. Salty football fans make salty comments on football forums. Weird people go looking for salty comments so they can feel aggrieved about them.

No, he's the one set up, and set up beautifully. The caller's done him by using his own massive ego against him.