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If I was wearing a hat, I'd be doffing it for this post.

Hey now, I narrate all the posts here for our blind audience. Not sky blue john's mind you, I don't have the vocal chords to shout that much.

He was the eye candy.

I don't mind the Telegraph article, but Brody as mayor of Vancouver would be mental. TEXT US IF YOU WANT TO ADD A NEW LIGHT COLOUR BETWEEN RED AND AMBER

I like to think that if I tucked it away and waxed in all the right places I'd make for a good professional player at women's level. In truth I'd depressingly find out that I'm terrible regardless of willy status.

You what?

Went to see Stevie Wonder at the NIA and George Boateng is brought on stage for some reason. I get that it's in Birmingham and all, but when he told the crowd how he started his career in England with Villa I wish I'd have brought eggs.

Fact of the day: the exclamation point is imminently being subjected to EU sanctions due to its dwindling nature thanks to vicious overuse. A prominent politician referred to it as the 'cod of the keyboard'.

Rest my case!

I'm 43% erect at the prospect.

Those greyhounds set a bad example for kids though don't they? With their ribs showing and all, that's just encouraging young girls to get eating disorders so they can get on the cover of Parklife too.

What the On that quiz too, Onye claimed Sky Blue Sam was a bad role model because he was fat, seriously? It's an elephant.

Wrong thread, too many tabs. Nothing to see

You can add fun by arranging a sweepstake to see how long it'll take for a goal kick to cross the halfway line.

I had a BNP flyer through the door, it seems their main target now is actually UKIP who they claim bloody love immigration and Muslims. Big picture of Nick Griffin looking all suave and in two directions on there, hard to resist really.

Just noticed the specifics of it: What a fucking dick. (I realise this isn't a new revelation, but wow)

I have witnessed him tie at least three fair maidens onto railroad tracks at different points, now you mention it.

Such crude abuse, unwarranted and unprovoked. You're a charlatan and dare I say a silly-billy too, with the greatest respect.

Damn you to hell.