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Reminds me of a silly old joke. Think it was Ken Dodd who said it many years ago. Queue of people lining up at a building site for a job. First one goes to the counter ..... Building Site Manager: 'Name please!' Man: FW Woolworth. Building Site Manager: 'I've no time for time wasters! Next!'...

And hopefully there will be no Marathon Man style interrogation by the staff with you strapped in a chair and them with dental drills and no anesthetic.

Well that's it in a nutshell. They are just looking to avoid any trouble and it there are pockets of City supporters everywhere then trouble could flare up. As Hill says, open up a stand or section off part of another stand.

Yep, sorry, misunderstood. Thought you were making out that as the family was rich the lad couldn't be a chav and would get his duffle bag from Fortnum and Mason rather than Argos.

Indeed. They only usually get 3 people at Crewe matches.

I do have an inflatable elephant to be honest. Need to dig it out.

He could have at least made out the ball boy stole his watch during the incident.

Here we go again! Shall we drag up the threads about David McGoldrick before we got him that said what a poor signing he would be?

What you need to do Dan, once in Crewe itself, is to keep stopping every 20 seconds or so and write down a few street names and local landmarks. You can then mention the local chippy and how much you won at such and such bingo club the other night.

Well said Pat Nevin. Having a bit of a row with Mike Bushell live on the BBC. Talking of 'perspective' and that the lad shouldn't be allowed to be a ball boy considering he is 17 and called him a disgrace. Also, like me, said that Hazard was clearly trying to kick the ball from under him...

Poshest hotels?That means nowt though. Peter Stringfellow owns one of the poshest nightclubs, but when he was younger he was a tie salesman and barber and car mechanic, and spent time in prison and and whose dad was a steelworker.

Here we go ...... :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm: BBC Breakfast .... 'Coming up, the shocking moment where a Chelsea player kicks a ball boy.' Shocking moment? :facepalm::facepalm:

Yep. And I do think you will find people are being very tongue in cheek.

Most of the stewards are already over inflated themselves anyway. That's why safety pins aren't allowed at the Ricoh.

I'll bring it and put a Tim Fisher mask on it.

Just find out if they call a batch 'a cob' 'a roll' or 'a bap' and then when you ring up Crewe FC ask them at the ticket office where you can buy the best *baps, cobs, rolls. *delete as appropriate.

Mine's got real pubic hair. You sure you want to see it? :o I'll have to empty her first.

Thought 'a child' was under 16 not 17? Okay, just looked it up and it says 18. Bit surprising that cos you can get married at 16. Does that mean you can marry a child?:(

Which was kind of what I was getting at. Read the headline and it will sound 100 times worse that it actually was.

How's your ribs?