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Compared to proper footballers granted, but if teams are letting him train and not just taking a photo for Twitter and then showing him the door he's got to be a bit handy all the same. I thought he'd give long jump a go at some point, he could probably stride the qualifiying target alone.

I'm an alien overlord. To be honest, I told the lads to always probe the humans anally for a laugh.

He's one of those annoying types who'd just be good at anything they do, he already seems very media-friendly so you could easily see him doing TV like Michael Johnson does now.

Southgate would really have to be included in the exceptions too, his first job was a Premier League club that he literally wasn't qualified for

Former TV Superman Dean Cain's a regular leading man in these too, he's got about a dozen under his belt but looking on IMDB, the real money is clearly in the other strand I forgot about: animals! The Dog Who Saved Christmas (TV Movie) The Dog Who Saved Christmas Vacation (TV Movie) The Dog...

3/1 chance Lacey Chabert was playing the girlfriend 2018 Pride, Prejudice and Mistletoe (TV Movie) Darcy Fitzwilliam 2017 All I Want for Christmas Is You (Video) Penelope (voice) 2017 The Sweetest Christmas (TV Movie) Kylie Watson 2016 A Wish For Christmas (TV Movie) Sara Thomas 2015 A...

I love those TV Christmas films. They make 300 per year but they all share the same five plots and three lead actresses, what an industry! One parent dies, woman comes home to Jingle Bells, Montana and reconnects with estranged dad. Falls in love with handsome local Big city businesswoman...

I'm not sure if I ever got a highest break past the 30s at most, but what I did like about snooker is that after playing, a pool table seems so small and easy you pull off audacious shots like it ain't no thang. I bet that's what it's like when Tiger Woods is roped into a game of crazy golf.

I picture Wolverhampton to be absolutely swarming with Ubers like its an ant farm, but one where all of the ants are getting in each others way and stopping in the worst place they possibly can. I used to hate taxi drivers but since Uber they seem like old-school superheroes by comparison

He will have ordered that not caring how long it could have been left out for too, that's a proper set of balls there.

Tell you what I really notice around campus too, all the Ubers seem to be awful drivers as if it's part of the job description.

We used to go to the Cov Supporters Club in Hillfields to play snooker on a Sunday and I couldn't stand the taste of proper alcohol so I'd have a peach Bacardi Breezer. Never heard a word though, the only sensible assumption to make is that I'm a double hard bastard without realising it.

I'm convinced that most of the options on a coffee menu are the same thing designed to trick trendy people into believing otherwise

I saw the first episode, it's got all those shit hallmarks of a show made by Simon Cowell where it cuts to audience reactions filmed at different times and you hear witless mutterings from the thick British public. Undecided which is worse, that or the showoff singing thing with Ginger Spice.

The amount of dizzy fuckers driving around with no spatial awareness I'm surprised there aren't more accidents. I'd have everyone get re-tested on a regular basis.

Bloody hell yeah, it's so much worse when the lines are even painted out telling you where you need to be.

Pretty much every single day at a roundabout I get this. I'm in the right lane to turn right alongside someone in the left going straight on, and they'll take it literally and go in a straight line. How does stupidity not thin out the ranks?

I found the Kevin Nolan stuff hilarious, but once we went up at their considerable expense and he left I can't enjoy their fortunes since.

I'm every single person using the phone in everything. I'll listen for a second and yet take in roughly 30 seconds of information and will NEVER say goodbye, just hang up.

Bears-Raiders holds some appeal just to be in the same postcode as Marshawn Lynch if he hangs around, but otherwise not much there for me.