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I still chuckle at the 'impress the lord mayor task.' Joe Wilkinson went out and bought him 6 cans of lager and 42 Calippo's. Brilliant.

Why, is she a black gay with a very large penis?

Back on topic...... my missus!! Our daughter has just joined the Air Cadets. First night tonight. She loved it and has brought forms to fill in. There's a standard consent form with a yes no RAF checklist to complete. Straight forwards you would think. Oh no...... Conversation went like this...

I wish Coventry City were joyless.

There's gaps at the back for the opposition to exploit?

No, but I do soapy tit wank the pony.

I thought diets were to make you slimmer. Am I missing a trick?

Okay. Children's laughter. Raindrops, baby kittens, fluffy teddies, twinkling eyes, smiles, rainbows, ponies, sunshine, soft pillows, clouds, cool breezes, warm slippers, hugs and wanks. Is that better?

Needs putting to bed.You can't let these kind of things drag to be honest.

She should know better.

A pink and blue one. Looks pretty memorable to me.

Yep, with you on that. It's kind of a sense of duty to continue with it. I do think this one is slightly duller so far.

Wanks.

I quite like Nish Kumar myself. Think he livens the place up, because Mark Watson is so dull.

Never stopped you before, Houch.

Tend to agree and Aisling Bea has been just a little bit too weird. Bob Mortimer is always a laugh though and funniest has been Nish Kumar. Mark Watson and Sally Philips, both a bit meh!

Yeah, but then I have to encounter them. That's when I'M about! See quite a few old people with new or newish cars pottering about on the roads at 26 and a half miles a hour and wandering round Tesco's aimlessly, chatting about their cousin Vernon's boils and chapped skin.

Actually, thinking about it, this might be a complete misread and be an historical story. I'm sure that Justin Fashanu once had his picture, going in for a header in the Saturday night's CT after match sports edition. If people didn't know who he was, that might explain the 'who's the gay boy...

Ooh, you just described me. ;) No, I know who you mean. The potterer abouters.

Zizzi now announced for Cathedral Lanes. Okay, so it's another chain, but it's a chain I really like. Went to the one in Kenilworth and quite enjoyed it, but then also went to the one in Bournemouth that all of us in our party absolutely loved. Will definitely visit when it's open.