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Nobody thinks that, and nobody's saying that. This is just a system to alert stewards to certain behaviour and is pretty standard all over the place. SISU aren't inventing these things.

What?

That's the maddest conspiracy theory I've ever seen placed on a 'text a steward' number being set up.

It's that there are people over a decade younger than me old enough to grow them, not my inability to do so. Although, mad jealous of Romain Vincelot's lumberjack effort.

I hate the idea that there are people 10 years younger than me who are professional footballers with beards. This just lessens the chances of my football career getting started.

Good job rupert.

This is to help alert them to these issues, seems fairly sensible.

The 'forward' one is particularly pertinent. It's frustrating to hear people whining about us holding on to the ball as if you can only create a chance by getting it into the box within five seconds of gaining possession.

Fucking hell, have a word with yourself.

I thought the team photo at the cathedral was way better than a plain old samey effort in a stadium or training ground, never considered it was some cheap copout.

Seems like you can make it up.

I don't think anyone's actually in that camp. Let's go steal the food.

Batman and Harley Quinn?

Dumb and Dumber's such a good film, I'm avoiding the sequel in case it ruins my love of the original.

Could we really trust Wasps in charge of Syria?

To be fair to ISIS, their PR machine is way ahead of ours.

I credit them for doing their best, but I was told I'd get a call back about arranging season ticket delivery and I ended up having to call up again so you may have to chase it up.

I'm going to relish the farts I bury deep into my seat this season.

Us Sisu folk hate Cov fans or something.

You don't need to quote it to me, I read things before I go crying about how life isn't fair.