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And on everyone else's birthday too. Basically on every unbirthday.

I remember an incident a long time ago. I wasn't involved, but there was a section at our place of work where they had a pools syndicate and one week they had a big win. One lad, Jimmy looked at the cheque that came through and immediately said he was quitting his job. He went up to supervisors...

Well Grendel is already the pantomime villain. He is twirling his wispy handlebar moustache as we very speak.

That's per day I might add, not per week. He also got a free nit comb, a pair of George jogging bottoms and a 3 month entertainment pass for NowTV.

I heard eleventy billion. Plus add-ons.

No, he's not Sideways Sammy, he's Flaky Flecky.

I can jog to the garage and that's about it (that's the garage at the bottom of our garden, not the nearest petrol station). We have a small garden. Richard Osman could do it in two steps.

I won't be sorry to see him go. Too hit and miss and if we want to play one touch football and have a bit of pace about us then I don't think he's the man.

Think he's always had a problem with his weight hasn't he.

'snapped' up? They're all taking their time aren't they with all this snapping. ;)

The lady I worked with was a lot more cruel. I would always call this John back, but she would revel in stuff. There was another gullible fella called Charlie. There was his office, then a run of corridor and then another office about 10 metres down. He was a very keen to please and he would...

You feel sorry for blokes like that, but you just can't help yourself can you! I used to be the wages and accounts clerk at British Coal many moons ago and every Thursday anyone who was paid in cash had to come and collect their wage packet from my office. It was my job to check the employees...

You sound like my wife, though the figure you mention is much higher in her case.

Yeah, but this of course was Boxing Day itself wasn't it. :)

I was there, but I honestly don't remember anything up on the scoreboard, or any Wallace overhead kick. I just remember it being a great game and Blyth saving that penalty. Best of all, it was Boxing Day so made it the perfect Christmas present. :)

Yep, did the long weight, the tartan paint, the left handed spanner, the skirting board ladder, the box of air etc.

I remember telling the feisty French girl who had recently joined that 'arse' was pronounced 'horse' so every time something went wrong and she had to tell an employee off she would say 'I am going to kick his horse,' or say 'You're a horse hole.' Didn't quite work though sometimes, like when...

In the 2006 tournament with Beckham and Owen and Gerrard and Lampard and Neville and Ashley Cole and Carrick and Rooney and Campbell and Ferdinand, we blustered and stuttered and were not convincing at all, drawing with Sweden, only beating Paraguay 1-0 and flattering to deceive against Trinidad...

But we are talking about different things, I think. I think we are an average team. Think a lot of the talk is of the players not being good enough. I am saying with the players we have we should be doing better as a team than we are. I know our qualifying group wasn't strong, but we won every...

Why would you do that if you are a Wasps fan?