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Yeah, that was cool and sneaky and beautifully underplayed. Now she is Mrs Ham of Ham Hall Central Hotel, SH1T OTT.

Everything I say in Russian always comes out as 'baldy Putin has little man syndrome.'

It was 'nice Carol' turned up to a Spinal Tap 11. Way, way OTT and completely obvious she was taking the piss. You can kind of see the way this is going to go. Wayward, lost, given up on violence, given up on the world Carol. It will be her though in the end that will wreak compete and total...

They can get storms and absolutely torrential downpours, so it may well have something to do with that. Think only a few weeks ago they had to suspend a game due to stormy weather. Think the game stopped for about 45 mins.

Are you a member, Sam? If you are, do you go to meetings to get your voice heard and offer your opinion? I am a member, though haven't been to any meetings as as yet. If I were deeply concerned about them I would be straight down there for the next meeting. I haven't agreed with everything...

I usually respect her as an actress, but that wild, hammy overacting at the start was just plain silly. I get that it was an act, but no-one in their right mind in the history of mankind would be buying that for a single second. For that first 15 mins of the episode I thought I was watching...

What a pile of padded hooey! And the king stuff was just ludicrous. The people needed something and someone to believe in. So therefore the leader has to act like a sub Shakespeare ham king.

So, just to be clear, are we saying that as a result of all this, Jon Sharp doesn't eat crisps?

Yeah, get that. Easiest option for us though is the best option too. Did some comparisons and Santander was the best anyway. To set up this new deal it took me 10 mins online and that was it, job done. Didn't even have to speak to anyone.

Yes. Sorry, meant to say, mortgage still over the same period of time. It is just the previous deal that is about to run out.

Almost exactly the same deal. They had 1.99% over 3 years or 5 years. No fee. I am already with Santander anyway, so this is just a new deal with the same mortgage lender. Looked at other lenders but they all had a fee of between £1,000 and £1,500.

Our last one was 2.69% fixed for 2 years. This one is 1.99% for 5 years. Santander. Need to read the small print.

No-one, cos then they find out about your other missus and your hidden dwarf porn in the loft.

This one is less than 2% for 5 years. Sounds like a bargain.

Where do you live, Monners, cos my kid's just come home covered in sick.

Well just as grey is the new black, the Butts is the new Ricoh don't you know. It's the latest fashion. Climb aboard before it disappears in a cloud of smoke up its own arsehole.

Last time out we got a fixed deal and talked it over with the mortgage advisor for 30 mins or so, but when we got the yearly mortgage statement come through my missus denied all knowledge of signing anything and was shocked at how much we were paying each month.

Yep, fixed is what I intended anyway. Just need to decide whether to go for a 3 year or 5 year deal. Cheers. Explained it to my missus 3 times and all I get is blank looks.

I think I may have already have answered my own question to be honest, but our current mortgage deal runs out shortly. We went for a fixed term last time and my thoughts are to go with a fixed term again this. Think we lost out a bit last time because the base rate remained really low and if we...

That's put the kibosh on it. :(