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Snitch? Strange name for a teacher. I did used to have a teacher called Miss Snatch though. What a twat.

What if he is? Then what? Whatcha gonna do about it, huh? Huh???

Yeah, Tud guy! ;)

No goals scored in the last 4 matches. Only 2 goals scored in the last 6. Shocking.

You can. I need someone on the other end of the bunting I am trying to put up.

I just let off 7 party poppers and my missus just cracked open a warm bottle of Lambrini.

We don't create nearly enough chances in games let alone have shots. What a basket case we are this season.

"We won't be thinking of you, because you are so poo."

It's the City, it will be bog standard.

The great escape starts right now. We can turn this round and then go on and win every game. Keep the faith.

Or indeed a team that is going to win 8 all season?

Shooting? Come on now, steady on. Now I know you are just making stuff up as you go on.

In my world, yes. Corner is definitely worth at least a goal to us.

Could be the stag do was actually in Hawaii, but this lad ended up in Mikton Keynes because of the best man's cheeky shenanigans!

He surely could have given us that pearl of wisdom last summer couldn't he?

It's always a matter of time before the opposition score. We just need that time elongated to over a number of games rather than it be regularly every match.

Got my 6, but the other 24 I didn't order haven't come yet.

We dream of and yearn for nothingness. Much better than the normal 90 minutes of heartache and despair.

In that case I am expecting a spate of groin injuries as the game wears on.

At least I can sit here in comfort and not have to be confronted by your hairless head. ;)