This is genuinely hilarious, you couldnt parody it.
https://news.sky.com/story/sir-keir-starmer-insists-he-is-trustworthy-as-new-voter-offer-compared-with-abandoned-leadership-pledges-13137102
Really surprised by that, don't know any new ST buyer's for next season but know a few who aren't bothering renewing, (small sample size admittedly), so it's heartening news.