Search results

This is terrible news for snooker players who will now surely no longer be allowed to pot the black. Think the government is also in talks with chickens to try and get them to only lay 100% full yolk eggs with no egg white. I'm going to miss my lemon meringue pie.

As a kindly favour to the missus I suggested our daughter have a Russian name in order for her to retain a bit of Russian identity. Unfortunately my daughter now absolutely hates it. I always thought Boris was quite a decent name myself to be honest.

Much better episode last night. Much funnier I thought.

I still chuckle at the 'impress the lord mayor task.' Joe Wilkinson went out and bought him 6 cans of lager and 42 Calippo's. Brilliant.

Why, is she a black gay with a very large penis?

Back on topic...... my missus!! Our daughter has just joined the Air Cadets. First night tonight. She loved it and has brought forms to fill in. There's a standard consent form with a yes no RAF checklist to complete. Straight forwards you would think. Oh no...... Conversation went like this...

I wish Coventry City were joyless.

There's gaps at the back for the opposition to exploit?

No, but I do soapy tit wank the pony.

I thought diets were to make you slimmer. Am I missing a trick?

Okay. Children's laughter. Raindrops, baby kittens, fluffy teddies, twinkling eyes, smiles, rainbows, ponies, sunshine, soft pillows, clouds, cool breezes, warm slippers, hugs and wanks. Is that better?

Needs putting to bed.You can't let these kind of things drag to be honest.

She should know better.

A pink and blue one. Looks pretty memorable to me.

Yep, with you on that. It's kind of a sense of duty to continue with it. I do think this one is slightly duller so far.

Wanks.

I quite like Nish Kumar myself. Think he livens the place up, because Mark Watson is so dull.

Never stopped you before, Houch.

Tend to agree and Aisling Bea has been just a little bit too weird. Bob Mortimer is always a laugh though and funniest has been Nish Kumar. Mark Watson and Sally Philips, both a bit meh!

Yeah, but then I have to encounter them. That's when I'M about! See quite a few old people with new or newish cars pottering about on the roads at 26 and a half miles a hour and wandering round Tesco's aimlessly, chatting about their cousin Vernon's boils and chapped skin.