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Love the plan. I think that scenario would make for a great little movie.

Christmas is cancelled!!!

Don't mind rugby. It's just Wasps.

Oooohhhh, I'm in!!!

I got a FitBit. Considering I never ever go to the gym, or jog, or do any exercise at all past walking the dog, it's entirely useless. I do walk with the a dog a lot but haven't got the slightest interest how far I've gone.

I once sat at the next table to someone wearing a Wasps shirt in Pizza Hut. I went straight home and had a chemical shower.

Used to love the Morecambe and Wise ones and then the Only Fools and Horses ones too. Don't make them like they used to.

I take it you live alone.

I remember doing some charity quiz type thing where you wandered round town in teams answering clues. A section of the questions were based around West Orchards and most were easy guess the shop/outlet type questions, i.e. 'I'm sweet on you,' and the answer for that was Thorntons, that sort of...

I think your offer of a pint has just been rescinded.

I find it really embarrassing. I was in Asda the other day and an assistant was reducing food and not only were people hanging around (something I don't really have too much of a problem with) , these people were right there up in his face and I am talking about literally no more than 6 inches...

I too got a cam stick for Christmas. Small world.

Like broad beans they are.

You must be psychic, cos I just opened my presents and that's exactly what I got, a Merry Christmas ball bag!!

People like my missus, who at 8 o'clock last night asked me to go to Tesco to buy some more elderflower presse.

We had a takeaway from The Ocean down Jubilee Crescent. Parents came round too.

Aww, thanks. That means so much.

I think it will be tough too. Would settle for a draw if we could then go on to beat Carlisle and Cheltenham. That would be a great return from the Christmas fixtures. Certainly can't afford to lose. Momentum starting to build after back to back wins and a loss would stop us back in our tracks...

Merry Christmas all you pricks, nobs, Sisu lovers and aggressive barstards.