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He was going like the clappers, so must have had his hand down on the throttle all the way. Not so sure that saves fuel to be honest.

Absolutely no doubt whatsoever that if he have had to brake he wouldn't have been able to. Never seen owt like that before. Madness.

No, he had obviously slipped into that position by accident, which would clearly have to be his defence during the trial following his killing of someone.

Yeah, that's what happens when you pay for things.

The idiocy of some people is staggering. Just seen a lad on a motorbike riding down Keresley Road and he was in exactly THIS position, albeit, clothed. And he was going very fast too. Crazy doesn't even begin to describe it.

Baguette today. Quorn ham, black olives, walnuts, red onion, yellow pepper and a bit of mayonnaise. Swishing it all down with a mango, papaya, banana and blueberry smoothie. Lovely.

Weirdly enough, I am quite the opposite. We got to the playoffs, so mission accomplished there on that one and now it could well prove to be a bit of a lottery, so I am well chilled out about it all. Feeling really relaxed. Not going to get too sad if we don't make it and will now only be...

I recall many years ago, I was at work and my boss sent me out to pick up a load of keys that had been cut by a little hardware store just down the road. So, went in and this bloke was at the counter. He must have been in his 50's at least and I said I had come to pick up a load of keys. He...

Yep. I singled out those same three players as well.

Yeah. They do have really hard drugs in Asia don't they and you never quite know what you are smoking.

Just dropped the missus off at work and saw three ducks just sitting outside Wetherspoons on the grass, surrounded by empty beer bottles. Then, as soon as I started my journey back I saw a fox just nonchalantly stroll across a foot bridge.

Not really. He's dead.

Yeah. We parked in Styvechale Avenue with no problems at all and it's just a 2 minute walk to the park. Numpties!!

Yeah, saw the trophy too, though no-one was admiring it. Stall was bereft of all members of the public.

I'm gutted. It's there in black and white. Or red and white at least.

Either that or put all your clocks way forward so that that you can wake her up at '9 am' on her birthday and spend the entire day with her. Let her go to bed for the night at the end of the day, let her fall asleep and then you can still go to game, as in reality it will really only be about 5pm.

Yup.

Yeah, it's a great plan. Well, it would be if away goals counted.

What a faker. How on earth did he conjure up all those fake saves and be able to make them look so real?

Oh dear. Didn't you kind of fear that anyway? Would she not settle for making Sunday her birthday instead? Just ask to delay it for one day and see if you can treat Sunday as her birthday as a one off (or until City have another big game).