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Yeah, but without all the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

Water's already broke hasn't it? Likely to have all been mopped up by now, Nick.

Well, FCUM is short for F*ck Um surely isn't it?

Yeah. Bit of a con really. Still looks mightily impressive, but in reality it was a normal pen with added back flip after.

And if it's a boy, maybe He-Man. He-Man Weeman would be quite memorable I believe.

You thought of naming it after the City's last goalscorer? Would be kind of fitting don't you think. Jordy Hiwula-Mayifuila Weeman. Got a nice ring to it.

So you've had yours. When's the wife's internal examination?

Opened in 2001.

I wouldn't want Wasps to go bust. Be very sad for the true, loyal fans. Just want to see them bugger off out of Coventry and back to London.

And how do I click that?

If and when I have a baby I'm definitely plumping for cesarean.

It's now the Philip Larkin of course. It's now moved up several levels to just a bit rough.

No, I wasn't kicked out at all. Stayed there pretty much the whole time. Popped home once in 35 hours just to grab a bite to eat and change my clothes, otherwise they were happy for me to be there.

She doesn't watch it.......or indeed know that I quite fancy Jodie Whittaker.

Stuffing his face at KFC while he waits you mean?

I think you will find that all was going well until Akinfenwa went on it.

Hmm, so you are telling me what I can and cannot write? Full circle back to the Asher's Bakery, eh.

I actually have that book!!