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I couldn't be arsed. Or could I? ;)

Or even 1 nil up.

Exactly. Take those 4 goals out of the equation and we're going in level at nil nil.

Should be abandoned then by half time.

This is the B team isn't it. Second half will be the first team 11.

I have a record by Cheap Trick, who I am sure were formed on the back of watching Leigh Jenkinson play. I am also always shopping in Mick Coop and occasionally drinking in the Wallace.

Had to read this one twice, as it sounded so off kilter. Mary Berry plays drums with Rick Astley Mary Berry plays drums with Rick Astley

Yep, guilty as charged.

I don't bloody know.

Who, Grasshopper?

Why? I don't watch, so have no idea who that is. Who won and why the conversation? Some of this does all make me smile, because context is so important. Anyone who has watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia will know that it is incredibly inappropriate at times and they use the n word, call...

Nope, indeed. It's also partially down to Stuart Beavon, Peter Vincenti and the rantings of Kevin Nolan. Many pieces to a single jigsaw, Grasshopper.

We only won due to a flukey own goal. Very, very lucky we woz.

Or is it??

Or Ricky. (That's not you, Ricketts).

Perfect! From small acorns and all that. Good first effort for sure.

And you are John Smith, right?

Good. Am suitably impressed. Good production values overall and I am sure you will keep getting better, but perhaps it needs another voice too, be that a fellow host, or fan, or player interviews. Just needs livening up a little. Minor criticisms though. Good first effort. You thought of maybe...

Bedworth Civic Hall under fire for advertising the roles of Chow Mein Slave of the Ring and PC Ping Pong for their Christmas panto. Aladdin panto forced to change names after racism row The fact it is a pantomime have any bearing at all here?

I agree 'racist' is flung around far too easily, but then so too are 'snowflake,' 'looney left' and 'PC brigade.' Don't know we all have to pigeon hole everything all the time.