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I tried that, but they said you looked nothing like me.

It can't be our best. If it's our best why are people moaning?

Yeah, that extra T is really annoying isn't it.

We are definitely going to lose this aren't we and it could well be today.

But why did you think we wouldn't bring one in? You were very negative and actually said we would be going into the new season just with JCH and Biamou as our main strikers, despite Robins saying he was on the case and there were still three days to go until the start of the season. It's all...

I emailed the ticket office on Tuesday. No reply.

Is your dad Michael Jackson?

Oh, you mean the transsexual? Yeah, he/she's nice. If you like that sort of thing.

Ah, right. Cheers. Good luck.

Have never heard of it. What does PIP stand for then?

Yup. He dare not miss and every time he got near goal he would look up at the stand and see if I was about to stick the pins in the doll. He scored - no pins.

Then they'd still be moaning that all the goals came in the first half.

What is pip? Or do you mean PPI?

NSS. Working from right to left. Me - Most people - Charlie

I always think of him as HIV. His Irritating Voice.

Or maybe big, gangly and awkward in the Kwame Thomas mould.

Nope. Going to be a lot quieter on here though if we do sign another one. What are all the moaning people going to have to moan about then? There's always something I suppose. We finish 6th and go up - 'We should have finished 5th'. We finish 5th - 'We should have finished 4th'. We finish 2nd...

Surely aids Clive Eakin though doesn't it?

I'm sure you'd get plenty of suggestions from posters on here, Nick. ;)