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When I'm in charge of the club after my billion-dollar heist, Marcus Hall's coming on in injury time one game to say a proper goodbye. Sure he'll be 56 and have an artificial hip, but it's happening.

Putting Grandison up front against Portsmouth when we had another forward sat on the bench was another. The man was mad.

I didn't like Marcus Hall not getting to come on in that last game against Watford. We were terrible and losing anyway, so give us some kind of warm fuzzy feeling to take home, dickheads. Admittedly this was Coleman's decision, but he was employed by them so it's a proxy gripe.

But nobody's saying that either. He's being mocked (quite gently, it should be noted) for the hunger strike that involves having a nutritional supplement drink rather than whatever meals 23 days out of a year. It's not the principle of taking a stand and certainly not him personally or his...

It's probably the right decision to offer him out to clubs, but I don't like this whole ostracising thing and keeping them away from regular training, as if they'd become troublemakers at the back making snide comments and smoking at their desks. Surely having these senior footballers remain in...

I should stress that if they do accept my offer, Dunn's not going in goal.

We've got five-a-side on Mondays, I'll let them know they're free to join in.

Doesn't it just.

The weak will try to lay a guilt trip on fans who don't do what they want, the strong will understand that their chosen way isn't automatically the 'right' way as there's no guarantees on either side.

The second someone mocks his cancer they are. Nobody is.

The two things clearly aren't related, shitty guilt trip or not.

They're all ace, but it's really after the first that they hit a real groove so I'd play that first or just skip it. 2 and 3 is where it hits real Indiana Jones globe-trotting spectacular territory, can't wait to see what they do with it on PS4.

There's no way Cristophe's a Scot. Matt Le Tissier was banned from England for trying to pull a similar swift one. On a similar note, watch out for Brazil sending Fred back to Sheffield soon.

Christophe Berra's contract is expiring. We could sign him to keep a taste of France at the back.

Story-wise it doesn't really matter, but if you play the first after the others it'll suffer as the gameplay made a healthy leap forward for 2. I'd either play 1 first or skip it, 2 and 3 it's not as much a factor. For me 2 is the best of the trilogy,

I've got a sore throat, can I be excused?

I concur with brian.

Next time the Telegraph write an article about Carl Baker:

I'm not surprised ability-wise as he was no great shakes, but just that he was a firm first-teamer, I thought that would just carry on. Maybe Thomas is at the forefront now.