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I've never set foot in Northampton in my life. I can see how you'd make that assumption though, it's the one that burns the fewest of those dwindling braincells !!!!

And you're sneering at them, which you hate. You're not doing what I want, which is also selfish. Quite the quandary.

Who are you talking to? This sneering towards people taking a different tact to you isn't very becoming. I wish I could find someone who would agree. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeey

At some point the smack talk has to elevate above 'I know you are', surely.

Calling people who don't do what you want them to 'selfish twats'.

Don't be a dick tony.

That's the spirit.

Nah, it was Les bringing people together you fool! After this, he should tour zoos and get hesitant pandas to finally have sex with each other and preserve the species. Maybe reunite Korea via Instagram?

Just imagine.

Wait, only one N. Give me a minute, all I had was stuff revolving around the word wanking.

Wanking is loathed, ok? (You have to pretend some letters are missing for the sake of filth)

Exactly my thoughts.

Les Reid is David Hasselhoff, and this is his Berlin Wall.

Aw shiiiiiiiiiit. I'm not expecting anything to actually come of these talks, but the fact they're actually going to happen is something in itself.

I'm not getting the least bit excited until I see an awkward photo-op with someone signing a contract or holding aloft a Ricoh Arena scarf.

Get used to expelling bodily fluids for the TURMOIL IN THE OIL

That girl's terrifying. That's got to be from the making of The Ring or something.

People are posting gifs and behaving like kids?

Joy, what are you after? ................................... Vince, how 'bout you? (the part where he smells the cash kills me every time)

Anyone else mesmerised by Will Smith's hips there?