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Your facts and logic has no place here!

And nobody's refilled my drink!

I caught his goals, one of them had him cheekily nicking it over the keeper to walk it in. Where was that Freddie Sears when we wanted him?

Fucking hell, have a day off will you.

I'd like to formally welcome you both on what I can only assume is your first day here.

One of those guys doesn't look all that Punjabi. Far left at the back.

It matters massively, I measure my outrage with a trundle wheel and a map from the 1500s.

Schmeichel (mainly based on him playing regular football) Keogh Dann Turner Fox (tempted by Van Aanholt as he's an international, but it'd be a guess) Henderson Cork Gunnarsson Tabb Keane Jutkiewicz

I like this new writer, taking a sideways look at life.

It'll be written in invisible ink. Roasted.

There's got to be a gif of a dancing baby on one of those pages.

Damn those white devils.

He's right about the distrust fear, that Highfield Road group thing was a bizarre farce.

Eh? I just told you how I bought a non-FIFA title.

Anyone go to the last one? Snooker always strikes me as one that works better watching on TV. With darts you're basically at a big stag night.

'Frangos - It's like Nando's but not enough to warrant a lawsuit'

Party on Matty! Party on Garth! Cowabunga! Don't have a cow man! You are the weakest link goodbye! Ice Ice Baby!

Matty started with the word 'shit' and the creative juices just flowed from there. Majestic.

I gave PES a go again with the latest one, but they've lost it. They hit a peak that can never be achieved again sadly.