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At least he would be good at looking across the line for offsides, what with his ability to see over the top over all the players' heads.

Weird isn't it, because I can take cider and brandy, no problems, but red wine always gives me a headache.

Somali? Now that IS what I call pirate television.

Tiny mouthfuls.

I think this series may well have a 5-0 whitewash written all over it. Certainly Ashes defeat looks extremely likely.

I think.you will find that one Ibrahimovic is equal to THREE Kelly-Evans'.

In answer to your question, no, obviously. I tried it once and nearly spat it out. Brandy on the other hand, now there is a lovely drink.

It's Philosorapter, so no, no-one knows.

Wife of former Coventry City star in terrifying street attack

Sign him for the first two months and then sell him.

That pitch is turning drastically now. One ball from Lyons pitched leg side and ended up way past off stump. We need the rain.

Yeah, echo this.

398 to win can indeed be written off. No way England can win. They can only bat out for a draw and/or pray for help from the weather.

It's rain or defeat and you have to think...... still could be both if we collapse.

Well, I didn't mind chatting to you at first, but then I thought the basque and suspenders was getting a bit too much. That's why I changed back to my normal clothes and stopped talking to you.

Only the rain can save us now I think. Lead is 240. Even if we took 6 quick wickets it.is going to be a lead of 260. Too much.

Yeah, I've seen it I think. It's Iamac*nt isn't it?

If we don't get another couple of wickets soon out best hope might be the predicted rain. Anything around 200 to chase is going to be tough I think.

Well that's done it!! I was more than happy to meet you until you said 'moi'.

Good stuff, Shmmeee. I was going to do the video blog thing yesterday in the hope I might meet a few people and form some new friendships etc.