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I always thought two Toney was a Coventry sort of thing.

Were you a moving target, or were you tied to a post with a bullseye on your forehead?

Someone told me my wife kept baring her arse in Marks and Spencer's window, but I believe she only did it for the crack.

What's the latest with Jack Burroughs? Has he been injured?

His wife says the same.

I've heard the same about Stoke-on-Trent.

Well at least my 'Russian woman was poisoned with Imodium' didn't make the papers.

Well, that's why we were able to snap him up apparently. He's only allowed to play daytime matches.

Fans are daft sometimes. I went to a gig in Birmingham last night and and walking back to the train station after , I was behind three Villa fans, who must have been about 18, tops and they were all in agreement that they would rather Villa won the league cup than the Champions League. The...

Totally agree. I enjoy that rendition very much too and Julie Graham was great. It ended all very abruptly.

Only Winnie the Pooh, Rupert and Paddington should have the right to bear arms.

But which flavour, Ferret? I do know the sun is flamin hot.

Cheers, Torch. :)

Yeah, someone definitely peaked by the sounds of it.

Just get the person next to you to do it for you. You might even get lucky and find that it's a woman.

I would like to watch it all again, because I was in love with Carolyn Seymour.

Exactly the same stance I had with my kid when she was 4 and becoming an absolute terror.

I hope so, cos I know I haven't.

A poor man's Cyrille Regis.

They're round when I look at them. I've never been round the back, mind.