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We haven't had full sex yet, it's just been fumbles in the dark and me playing about with his chocks.

I pay my pilot 80k a year just to make takeoff noises.

I know a family of Muslims and they are the most beautiful, wonderful people you could imagine. They came over from Malaysia and have done nothing but good work in the community. They are very smiley, happy, kind and peaceful people. They are simply, beautiful people. Stop tarring everyone...

Waiting on a replacement helicopter rotor blade?

I had no idea a porn star fluffer earned so much.

Speak French.

Bottom line is, whether people thought he had a good game or, not, having him in the team last night made a difference.

He tried to, but the ball was with their keeper and he was trying to conjure up inventive ways he could give one.

I was there too. Why didn't you say hi?

The Hamer one was a clear yellow all day long and a ridiculous tackle to make. It was just dumb, pointless lunge, taking the man out after he passed the ball. 10

I hope he has moved to Germany, just so we can change the thread title to Das Boot, cos that's a classic tale too.

He certainly made a difference last night. Godden has been so isolated previously.

MOTM for me was Giles. Thought he was excellent. Shipley played well and Godden and Biamou worked tirelessly up front. A few errors here and there, but overall, it was a great performance. Only thing that worried me tonight was that I can see Hamer getting a number of red cards this...

If you can lipread like I can, you would have seen the ref go to Matt Godden and say "Can you bring some more defenders on so I can book them too."

It's going to be drinks on you tonight, Daz. 2-1.

That's how Sean Connery pronounces his name.

No. RIP.

I always think of Derek and Clive

Borat's daughter in the new Borat film. Maria Bakalova.

Don't hold your breath.