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Schmeichel (mainly based on him playing regular football) Keogh Dann Turner Fox (tempted by Van Aanholt as he's an international, but it'd be a guess) Henderson Cork Gunnarsson Tabb Keane Jutkiewicz

I like this new writer, taking a sideways look at life.

It'll be written in invisible ink. Roasted.

There's got to be a gif of a dancing baby on one of those pages.

Damn those white devils.

He's right about the distrust fear, that Highfield Road group thing was a bizarre farce.

Eh? I just told you how I bought a non-FIFA title.

Anyone go to the last one? Snooker always strikes me as one that works better watching on TV. With darts you're basically at a big stag night.

'Frangos - It's like Nando's but not enough to warrant a lawsuit'

Party on Matty! Party on Garth! Cowabunga! Don't have a cow man! You are the weakest link goodbye! Ice Ice Baby!

Matty started with the word 'shit' and the creative juices just flowed from there. Majestic.

I gave PES a go again with the latest one, but they've lost it. They hit a peak that can never be achieved again sadly.

'Can you play Sailing by Rod Stewart for my uncle? It's his birthday'

This doesn't really feel like a battle, we're more flirting with relegation this time out. Pressley shouldn't wear those sexy waistcoats and we'll be fine.

I'd certainly lean towards it being a bit of a shitter again, but it's still nice to have some hope left at the same time.

I agree. There's absolutely nothing in the history of the club that should give anyone reason to be sceptical of someone new coming in.

People who thought we'd do anything but sink without trace with our -10 start were similarly told they were deluded last summer. Nobody knows.

For me it was Cobi Jones, Isaias and then Huckerby two weeks before he was sold. We should really market our skills to fans who want rid of players.

Short shorts go out of style, but them shoes is timeless.