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If Southgate doesn't bring on Palmer and Gordon at half-time, I think I'm going to have a stroke

I ask despite knowing there will never be an answer, what the fuck are we?! I struggle to understand what we are as a team; can't press, can't pass, can't shoot, can't take set pieces No identity, no idea, sack fucking Southgate (and I'm an optimistic football fan)

Does that count as a shot on target?

ITV talking about the FA Cup final as if there isn't a huge asterisks next to it makes me sick. I'm not still bitter about it, though

I mean, we all breath out carbon dioxide, so we literally contribute to greenhouse gases just by breathing...

Who's been stealing your thoughts?

China, I agree, but the US is pretty much a direct descendant of the UK. Their Bill of Rights was inspired by the UK's Bill of Rights 1689.

200 channels, and nothing but Gordons falling off bikes

You're shite

Think Dean Kiely put in one of the best goalkeeper performances I ever seen away at Luton once, think we lost 3-1 and he made about 476 worldie saves. He still knocking about?

What if I were to say that Sunak is probably more optimistic that he will still be in no 10 on the 5th July than England fans have of still being in the Euros on 1st July? Has the benefit of being true, at least!

The standard response of the waiter when you ask where your food is in a Coventry Wetherspoons

A keeper who is more effective than a freaking garden gnome!

(First day in training) Adi: This is the ball. This is the penalty spot. Ball, penalty spot

What about Stoke City? NoStokeNoParty

I've got it as Slovakia next; then Italy or Switzerland, then Romania, Turkey, Netherlands or Slovenia for the final

Not going to lie, that's funny as fuck

Looked a pen to me, if onside

No idea why they are going for the "whataboutism"... England have been pure and utter crap so far, and currently getting worse, Southgate and the side deserve every bit of criticism. Coventry City make me anxious, England make me angry!

Still one of the worst penalties I've ever seen given was Preston away Kyle McFadzean: Attempted foul, now honestly, did they ever give someone a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?