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Seems stupid. Why not just have the housing equivalent of an MOT, required every 10 years or so.

They're just schoolkids, that's why you don't know them. And that other guy isn't Hugh Dennis either... ;) Although as the show was going downhill it probably wouldn't have been many more seasons before that would have been the panel.

Does anyone know if the game is on the red button...?

I've never heard of these things before, but I'm going to have to get some now!

Saves a trip to the bogs.

Especially those glow-in-the-dark varieties.

You do get in the way. So many times I've been leaving the toilets and had to either wait or squeeze past some inconsiderate bellend coming in the wrong way. The toilets at the far end aren't as packed as the ones nearest the entrance (hence why I try and use those), but they're not half empty...

Treat people with kindness by using the toilet facilities properly rather than queue jumping and getting in people's way.

Which manor did he pay it in? The Playboy one? ;)

Quite possibly. I've no doubt he has ambitions to play as high as possible. But if he is sold you'd have to hope at least part of the proceeds would be put towards his replacement, leaving Allen's squad position at best the same as now. No way would you improve and extend Allen's contract with...

Thankfully for them we're a little bit too late in the season for them to be dragged into the relegation scrap. But that's just madness.

It's hardly far right - football are one of the few professions where the workers see a decent share of the proceeds of the business. It's not like he's on minimum wage struggling to heat and eat.

No, of course not. Not sure how you take me pointing out he's already contracted and being pretty well paid compared to the average person as me saying he should be paying us. And as I said he's going to be being paid a decent amount compared to the vast majority of people, so overall I'd say...

Has anyone seen Alex Salmond recently...?

It doesn't matter how much other clubs might offer him, he's contracted to us.

Who's his agent? Mo Farah? Surely he could have asked for at least a bit of cash as well.

He should just claim it was for PPE and jobs a good'un. Right?

Probably right. Burroughs, Rus and Dabo have +1's. Maybe Rose so MR has the security of knowing he has at least 2 CB's signed up for next year.

All I can think of are those reporters outside stadiums on transfer deadline day getting harassed by supporters.

But he's contracted to us, so that's irrelevant. And as we don't know what he's on we can't say that someone else would be willing to offer him more. If the goals dry up, by this time next year he could be surplus to requirements and then the extra year and wages looks like a bad decision...