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We’re signing McNally, Twine and Simms in swap deals for Vik. Planning to flog Everton a cardboard cutout and hope they don’t notice.

If we start the season having not signed a single player then I’ll remember to take my boots.

Heard it was Clint van Damme.

What on earth? He signed a long-term deal only 5 weeks back. Surely things can’t have soured that drastically in such a short timescale.

Heard on the grapevine Doug has gone full Charlie Methven and demanded we play Tiesto’s Adagio For Strings when the players walked out.

Can hope it’s McNally and Twine but, knowing us, it’d be Mohamed Coulibaly and Josh McQuoid.

I get why we haven’t accepted thus far, but I think we’ve got to take the highest offer by the end of this week. I just hope we’ve been doing work in the background so signings can start to drop fairly swiftly. The more it drags on, the more it affects our ability to attract the right players...

He’s a CB by trade but played more at RB this last season as Ben Cabango and Nathan Wood took the CB slots. Ideal for playing at RCB in my opinion with the ability to cover at RB/RWB.

That’s a stretch. Simms is comfortably £3.5-4m in my opinion. Decent scoring records at both Blackpool (L1 at the time) and Sunderland. Time on his side.

We were already playing wing backs. The transfer seemingly made little sense from the start.

In fairness, Forest signed about 37 players.

Absolutely.

Mad ain’t it. And there’s actual talk of 4 signings. Maybe it’s Doug’s latest fundraising attempt - pay for a place In the starting lineup.

True story: once served a customer at work called Paul Mycock. Cruel parents.

Turns out the disappointing show at the CBS a few weeks back wasn’t a one-off.

They were decent. Touring next year apparently.

Do we know they’re foreign and weren’t just some of the players still on holiday? After all, that’s why we can’t sign anyone.

All of them. Even the ones signing for other clubs. Pure coincidence Tyler Roberts was on holiday in Birmingham.

My thoughts exactly!

Tyler Roberts to Blues, I’m sure we were linked with him a few windows back.