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Might be more appropriate if it was a throstle.

Not everyone has their finger on the pulse in quite the same way you do.

So a pretty pointless exercise then?

Has he tried pinching Collins?

Sorry to quibble, but shouldn't that be "...anyone lying on the floor injured within a yard of the touchline...", otherwise, what was the point of Brexit?

And some nice chocolates.

Ignoramus.

Is he a Yank?

Nothing less than a lifetime ban will suffice. Genuine question - what is wrong with some people?

You&re obviously a glass half-full sort of person.

Close call between Tommy H and Ian Wallace.

Was he holding a large cucumber at the time?

I think when Armageddon comes we're more likely to be the food source.

Razor sharp.

Neither. It's an assault rifle.

I'm obliged to jump to the defence of our wasps. They perform a vital role in helping to keep spider and insect numbers down and also play a part in pollination. Admittedly they can be a bit of a nuisance and it's no fun being stung by one, and I know this because one was lurking in my tinnie...

No "o" in Irn-Bru.

The grouo vomit scene in Family Guy is a front-runner - accept it's not cinema though.

Hope it's long enough to cover your modesty.

And they're the fuckers who tend to go the fastest! Lot of single-track roads round us and there are some cyclists who are obviously doing timed runs, clad head to toe in black lycra. Anyone else sharing the road is just a nuisance. If and when they do eventually pull in to a passing place, they...