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'local paper prints sports news on back page shocker'. Read all about it.

i've heard that Wasps are planning to stick a brass rugby ball on the end of Jimmy Hills (statue) hand so that he looks like he's taking a lineout.

surely no football stadium manages to generate income on all 365 days of the year? Unless it incorporates a hotel, casino and conference centre of course - but that would be ridiculous.

the last console I had was an atari, about 35 years ago, so I know nothing about modern games. I now have an 8 year old son asking for a console for xmas . What should i go for console wise and what football game should i buy?

absolutely nothin' (good god!)

...has knowl tried turning in off and on again yet?

They originally joined forces to invent the announcement system now in use in train stations around the world.. "Byng-Wannnnnnng: the next train arriving at platform 2 will be the 8.43 from Dottingham.." etc..

gmk would have asked all the important questions before the deal was done, such as 'who likes marmite?'

i think she means that Coronation Street isn't on tonight

.."In summary, we have been left in the dark about what has been going on. We would prefer to be part of any decision, fully informed and actively involved in plans affecting us all. "" oh, and by the way, we're still taking you to court

has anyone checked that Tim Fisher isn't actually sitting with his legs crossed on his carpet at home building the new stadium out of Lego as we speak?

...book early to cement your place

i've heard from a usually unreliable source that the consortium is made up of Ray Ranson, Les Reid, Jo Dhinsa and Knowl from gmk

why?

Shouldn't that be 'An. Arsehole' ?

yeh, he's an arsehole :D

phew, I thought it had gone forever

what day is the funeral, or is it on a life support machine?

why not leave a few weapons lying around their front garden in the hope that one day one of them might accidentally kill the other?

you just said it