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I've lost count the amount of times my wife has said that when I've asked 'where do you want it?'

I saw the title and just assumed you were shit at geography.

With Godden now signed, I think we will be in the top 1 at least, for sure.

No, but there is to Goddenly Knows

MR is 5ft 8. Godden 6' 1. There doesn't look to be 5 inches in-between them. Though there might be later on tonight I suppose

I thought he was supposed to be over 6ft. How tall is MR?

How do you know that Spunkbucket is me?

Surely they would be 'Goo ga ga ga.'

Because we like to bring them in young and before Man U snap them up?

I'm the same with sperm.

We're going to be league champions by Halloween

Female Genital Reputation?

Pretty sure I've seen that video on PornHub.

Well done. I am so glad you have been able to find some positivity in your life, even though nothing of course can ever replace the love that you and your wife had between you. Good luck for the future.

Is the second prize 20 tickets?

Bit of both I think. With a splash of Messi and Lampard

But funnily enough, my daughter bought me a bottle of toffee apple cider for Fathers Day and I really liked it. Am I an alcoholic?

Sorry, was talking in past terms.

I can't keep up with your maths, mate.

Isn't that a bit like saying 'Besides knocking everyone out, was Mike Tyson a good boxer?'