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I want carnival. I want dancing girls; snake charmers; steel bands; flags waving in the air; politicians in naked oil wrestling competitions; gladiators fighting to the death with Tim Fisher playing the part of Caesar; Cossack racing; tattooed ladies and a house of mirrors. Only then will I...

You may be right - I've just seen videos of him shooting with power and accuracy from distance and giving the keeper problems.

Some good ideas here. The point is that it doesn't need to cost anything, just a little effort to make the day special - especially for the kids but also for the adults. I like the ideas for kids and also playing old games at half time: the atmosphere needs to be unashamedly proud of the club...

He is very good - a striker. This rumour has already been on here and many believe he is too good to want to play for a League 1 team. I however, believe that it could happen if it were a loan - as he's young and not playing at Newcastle.

Fill your boots with Crewe - they have a six point start as they play us twice.

Yep, I agree. And given our lack of a scouting network I suspect our hit rate should be below average. On teh other hand, Mowbray's recruitment record at CCFC isn't too shabby so far...

He didn't say he wanted big names though did he? He said he wanted quality. We have to give him the benefit of the doubt that by quality he means 'within the context of League 1'.

Well, they certainly are when they play us.

I wouldn't have Pope here... not until he condones contraception.

Change down, man, find your neutral space. You got a rush. It will pass. Be seated.

Knowing our luck we'll get automatic promotion. Sisu out!

Being replaced by yellow and black Tarmac?

I think he knows that and is pointing out that it's ridiculous that it was installed before and taken out, only to be put back in.

I'd imagine it would be a loan.

Tudgay has played almost 400 professional games. And yet we feel we need someone with more experience? More ability, more drive, more goals... I can buy that. But more experience, because Tudgay hasn't learned enough about the game in his 13 years playing? Bizarre.

Is there a difference? I always thought they were one and the same. You never saw them play together did you?

I rounded them off, I'm sorry. Hands up, guilty face, pants around ankles.

Dribble? Anglo Saxon, FIFA? Crikey.

What if we were to spread a rumour in Sheffield that they are crap?

Every year since he started playing, Stokes has become 25% better at football. This is expected to continue until he is 31, at which time he will start becoming worse at football at a rate of 35% per year. If Coventry City require players to have 327+ football ability units (FAUs), in which...