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OK, so I've been on the red wine since 6:00. But how fucking brilliant was Bowie? You're supposed to be able to know which is your favourite album and yet I don't even know which Bowie album is the best. I always say 'Hunky Dory' but just listen to some others and they are immediately as...

I 'kind of' knew Hoffman at school (he is a few years older than me). Never doubt that he cares about the club. He had a season ticket for the West End in the mid-70s.

OK, I have a little time now. Little you write, strictly speaking, is untrue – but it’s the words you use and the implications that are disingenuous and brimful of spin. “The National Debt has rocketed since 2010”. It’s true that the national debt has been increasing – but your implication is...

I don't need to research, I already know which facts you have taken and mangled up. I'm going to work now, will reply fully this evening.

Go on Grendel - that's a green light. ;)

You sound like the Socialist Worker fan I once heard on a street corner in Edinburgh. He was shouting "The recession isn't Labour's fault; it was created by the Tories." I guess at least there is a grain of truth somewhere in what you have written, whereas he was just completely lying. I...

What do you mean? They are all true (probably); every single last fact on this thread.

Tim has a tattoo of Limahl across his chest.

Tim finds his fingers so amusing that he cannot glimpse them even for a second without grinning from ear to ear. However one glance at his own toes and he falls into floods of tears.

Tory polls in 2015 were at 36% and resulted in a majority of 12 seats. They are now polling at 44%; even before the nation gets to hear Jezza and his mates self-destructing on TV. I expect the SNP to be very against this; they have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Libs to gain seats...

Like a flamingo, Tim can only sleep whilst stood on one leg in water.

It's good of you to travel all the way from the 1950s to share this post.

Unlike Meat Loaf, Tim would do 'that' for love.

Tim developed this formula at the start of the season to calculate P, our final position in the league. After hours of work, he solved it this week. He got P=25.

Is that really all you need to know?

After an unfortunate mix-up in Las Vegas, Tim once accidentally married an Elvis impersonator. When startled, Tim immediately goes into hibernation; a state that can last for up to 30 minutes.

You're a fine one to talk. We're just writing nonsense on a forum. You've gone to the trouble of encouraging weirdness by establishing an independent awards body. And then you give out annual awards every couple of weeks.

Spam him with questions about the item.

You said that about my last thread. I can't win it twice in the same year.

Despite having been picked up on it in every interview, to this day Tim claims on his CV to have "invented Pythagoras's Theorem" The first thing Tim says to people when he meets them for the first time is to tell them how old he is.