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Looking on the bright side, at least McCallum has been passing to blue shirts consistently this game.

Great cushioned head from Rose so the keeper can safely collect. That's not easy.

It will be fine next half. We're passing the ball around beautifully on the right hand end of the screen. That'll be their box next half.

Maybe we can take hard drugs too and sign him. Geddit?

Watched the new Netflix documentary series "The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel" last night. Only four episodes so can be seen in an evening if you start early. We nearly turned off after 1 minute because it was doing all this "supernatural" stuff but then it calmed down to be a good watch. I...

The guy who does Didn't Happen of the Year Awards is from Cov. He's a Liverpool supporter, or Man U or something. Anyway, as you were.

And everyone cheered?

Yes; although they need to be in the house then until there is no risk of frost. In some ways better as the flowers will get visited by insects to pollinate. I end up going round with a paintbrush in the greenhouse.

Ahem

Isn't it a bit late for garlic? I always plant in autumn as I was told it had to go through the winter/a cold snap.

Couple more tips - don't assume you have to use all the seeds in the packet this year. In particular, there are loads of lettuce seeds in a packet and you can sow throughout the year and still have loads left for next. I always let my basil go to seed and then collect it for next year in the...

Herbs such as parsley and basil don't need to be planted yet. Parsley is a perennial so once done you'll have it for years. Basil is an annual, meaning you only get it for one year. I always pour hot water on the compost before sowing basil seeds as it helps them to germinate. I'd just buy a...

Get your seed potatoes now and chit them. They need to be put somewhere lightish and warmish and chitting means that they start to grow a "tail". When you plant them (mid to late March), dig a ditch and put in some organic matter for food. Then as they grow you pile up the earth over the...

OK.

So a bit more on this... I like winding people up sometimes by saying the wrong thing deliberately. So given the opportunity, talking to a frenchie, I would definitely say "bouc et mystère" for a laugh. I've often thought that I might say "salaud" (bastard) instead of "salut" (hi) - but I've...

What winds me up is when the Tube tannoy asks me to "use all of the available doors". I've never managed more than two before the train takes off. It's not a reasonable request IMO.

Don't forget Chester Draws. Chester is very sensitive. Interestingly, the French have the same issue with Escaped Goat. The boring bourgeois write "bouc émissaire", however the more poetic write "bouc et mystère" - which translates as "goat and mystery".

Ahem

Gus thinks that the stars are God's daisy-chain. With apologies to Plum.