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Despite what Clint van D says, that snippet certainly wasn't penned by me. Autobiographical perhaps? As an aside, I'd guess there must have been aggravating circumstances to justify a custodial. Serial canal-shitter? Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

I should have asked before, but what's the attraction of shitting in a canal? Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Too much, I think. Such that I wouldn't be able to relax my sphincter sufficiently. A solo effort, involving ropes and an abseiling technique would do the trick. Job done. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

[emoji33] Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Can't fault your logic. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Which is far easier to do sitting on the throne. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Even better, I'm shooting a video, and all will become clear (unlike your ring-piece if you're standing up). Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Standing up to wipe your arse?!? What the flying fuck! Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Would be an interesting trial. We have a head height rule playing five a side, v which effectively rules out heading. It's a much better game. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Heading ten bags of coal. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

If there's one thing I've never needed an accomplice for, it's shitting. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Heading ten bags of coal? Have we got our threads crossed? Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Sobering reading. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

And, of course, boxing. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Thanks. You'll have to wait and buy my book, which should be in all good bookshops for Christmas, at just £45.99. Makes "Papillon" look like a fortnight in CenterParcs. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Yes, but very short arms. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

I take your point, but even if players are fully informed of the risks, would that legally absolve the game's authorities? Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Yes, it could. If it's accepted that heading the ball causes neurological problems later in life, I can't understand why it isn't banned. If they don't ban it, aren't the authorities leaving themselves open to legal action? I'm not advocating a ban, especially as Nick pointed out the fact that...

Has he got glitter in his beard? Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk

Top watch, Antiques Roadshow. Sent from my MAR-LX1A using Tapatalk