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First announcement: Wayne Rooney is taking over all coaching duties, and is being paid £4 mil a year. Second announcement: that concludes all transfer activity this window. 🤯

BRING GUS HOME, DOUG. (As long as Sheaf passes the medical, if he doesn’t, it may be best to take him out the back and fetch the shotgun…)

I’ve never heard someone say ‘maximise’ that many times in an interview.

It was totally intentional, yup. 👍🏻

Decent player, but can be really erratic. Bit like Huckerby for us.

Hopefully he gets permanently lost on the motorway coming back from his loan.

Could do with a good crap myself.

Is it still brewing?

Well, call me old fashioned, but I really want goals from a striker. At the very least, using his height and strength to be a menace.

This is no time to be sharing your struggle with constipation.

To be quite honest, he will find it hard to displace anyone in that midfield, on current form. I think the best Sheaf can hope for is to stay fit for a move to another Championship club.

When Vik is truly up to speed, he’ll be knocking them in for fun. It’s quite amusing how Man Utd fans were writing him off after one goalless game. 🤣

Maybe in another 20 years, to mark the new stadium unveiling (and our 4th consecutive Champions League triumph), we’ll have a player named Torpensen doing the same thing after scoring. It could happen.

Goodness gracious me, I’ve just seen Torp’s second goal. 😳 His technique and ball control (as well as finishing ability) there, was incredible. 🩵 🇩🇰

Late reply but, yeah, emergency vape situation. Will I have to do this every home game now as some sort of weird superstition?

This day gets better and better.

Whoaaa, I just popped to the shop at 2-0, and now it’s 5-0… Think we may hang on to this for the win.

Get into theeeeeeem, forward charge!

Surprised at Doyle joining Wrexham, he’s probably been blinded by the plastic Disney-funded, faux-underdog shite. They’ve got a weird mix of players to be relegated with, now.