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What do you call a rabbit running down your face? A stray hair.

I can understand them coming on to take the pee over what happened a long time ago. What I do struggle to understand is that some of them wish Jimmy Hill dead and the City to go out of existence. So no matter what happens they are incapable of ever letting it go and will forever feel the need to...

That's fine but don't come on here moaning about them while you continue to fund them.

My wife said she's leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with plants. I said "where's this stemming from petal" ?? My missus says I'm immature and i have to grow up soon! ..Like that's going to happen so close to conker season. When I was born the midwife took one look at me and...

I phoned the police the other day. "What's your emergency?" they asked. I said, "Two girls are fighting over me." "OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?" "The fat one's winning."

My neighbour found out that her dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this...

My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't effect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

Spot on. I've always thought that.

53,000 Geordies meet in St James Park for a 'Geordies Are Not Stupid' convention. Alan Shearer addresses the crowd 'We are all here today to prove to the world that Geordies are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please?' Gazza gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the...

Mines the Maudsley and sometimes The Old Clarence. Cheap beer monday at both only £1.75 :claping hands:

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, 'Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!' Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, 'It reminded me of a peanut.' Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, 'Really...

A boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?" Granny replies, "f**k the pills, son, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"

Sadly 110 million just isn't enough. And being honest would anyone want all the grief from the fans?

2) cov in final off play offs

SISU have a massive job establishing trust with the fans and the jury is out as to whether they can achieve this. Having a stake in the stadium is paramount to us being able to compete at a reasonable level. At the moment i'm happier if they dont get their hands on it. They need longer to show...

Whatever your'e on pass it around. A few fans could do with some.

Couldn't agree more shmmeee.

Can't argue with that.

Two ex City managers on the panel.

Perhaps that's why we are still losing so much money each month. I understand SISU needing to get the club on a sounder financial footing but it winds the hell out of me that no matter what they do we still lose something like 500k a month.