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I think the story at the time was that he was keen but we were farting about whereas Swindon had a solid offer already in place so it was the sensible decision for him rather than wait for our circus.

You what? You're king of the teases.

Those magical hypothetical villains you're always rallying against. They're terrible, whoever they are.

We should invent more forum illuminati.

Damn you to hell. I was so proud of my 'Wispa the location quietly' clue, but now nobody's going to find it.

I know the site, but this is not the place to say as I'd be betraying trust. However, I will drop cryptic clues that will give you the location of the first part of the treasure hunt, this will finish at the site itself where I've buried a GOLDEN TICKET.

Every time you start up your car the dash dazzles you with this:

Pretty much all our incoming players this season have been from the Championship and League One.

I hate driving, but I get nervous if I'm in a car my mum drives, never mind one that is controlled by THE CLOUD or a Commodore 64 or whatever. I'd prefer to retain control no matter how safe and reliable it is.

It mirrors this season, so some time in September.

JLR have commandeered almost an entire top floor of the car park opposite the sports centre, with a select few of those spaces being elevated by their own little ramp. Do JLR have their own royal family?

My favourite thing about Christmas comedy DVDs is how little effort is put in to the cover. It's like they've all got one lazy temp doing them.

He's hardly lying about the pitch.

My sources understand that they discussed Cov continuing to use the Wasps-branded home dressing room but Wasps flat out refused as Danny Pugh is notorious for leaving shitty grundies on the floor.

I should point out that it's really not a hippy commune filled with tree-hugging professors. Go there tomorrow and see a capitalist building site.

It's basically a fancy skin, yeah. I'd be all over one of those controllers if they come out though.

We should just do a night-time raid on Vicarage Road.

What decade are those references from?

Get Godwin on the phone!

Those are the lyrics to All Around the World, you chancer.