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Someone announcing they're leaving is a guarantee they'll be back.

Stefan Kuntz/Aston Villa

I'm voting Fortune in the hope he sees this and decides life is worth living. It's A Wonderful Life, Marc-Antoine.

'Who are ya' is another. I'm sure that song is cursed and all but guarantees an opposition goal.

Pele/Pele Hernan Crespo/Jose Angel Crespo

I'm not keen on that 'you're fucking shit, you're fucking shit' song. I'm ok with swearing, but it's a bit on the nose.

Get a room you two.

The fella that walked over as the stewards got to her seemed like he may have been a carer, he looked more concerned than trying to get involved. I first noticed her down near the front about five mins before she went on as she was just in short sleeves. I was layered up like nobody's business...

I hope it was an intentional reference and I haven't outed myself as a sole Belieber.

You can't really lie about attendances, that kind of fraud wouldn't go unnoticed very long.

Like Jacob Murphy, I always find it helps make my dives look authentic by having a defender clearly take my legs out from under me.

I thought their leftback was particularly impressive. First look at him, I thought a strong wind would carry him out of the stadium.

Seconded on the E10, that's the one I've got. I think they can be had for a little bit less than £40 if you hunt about too.

I noticed her near the front of my block stood up and looking around a bit aimlessly before she went on the pitch. I thought she might have been handicapped or something along those lines as another fella ran over when they were escorting her off.

I personally was saying 'boo-urns'

If we end up automatically promoted in second, people will be screaming blue murder that we didn't finish as champions.

In Angry Young Man's partial defence, he is enraged by every little thing that doesn't go perfectly. Just before warmly applauding him off the pitch, I did enjoy him screaming at 50-cap international Joe Cole that he's shit and should learn how to pass a ball.

I couldn't go that high for headphones, I think I set myself a subconscious price limit for things and that's way past it. Saying that, I did go £50 on some RZA ones, but that's because it was an 80% discount and I'm Wu-Tang 4 lyf

After a few minutes of it I wanted Fortune to score primarily to spite the guy behind me first, with the 2-1 win that'd come with it being merely a nice bonus.

Fortune doesn't do much for me, but some of the vitriol he gets is a bit much, as if the season's going so well that people need some target to shout about. Angry Young Man in the seat behind me literally gave him 5 seconds on the pitch before screaming obscenities at him.