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We're not completely stranded when you consider that teams at the bottom don't tend to rack up the points, but the Bolton game is the only time in ages I can remember us looking anything like a capable side. If we somehow got our arses in gear it's not too late, but I can't see how that will happen.

When your pub is knocking up signs for your benefit you know it's a proper local.

I don't think the prospect of playing at Wembley would stop players trying in the games before then, because if you do that you get dropped. Plus we're a giant pile of shit, so whatever we've been doing before now hasn't been up to much.

A third goal?

I wanted Atlanta to win it, but all the way I was thinking 'it's not that much of a lead, but no way can they-' and then that happened. You can't deny a comeback like that. Worth staying up for!

We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an...

I wouldn't use that as any kind of yardstick to be honest.

Not sure how I feel about the protest itself, but I don't think they caused the goal, us being woeful defensively did. The delay in game was around the same as you'd get if someone was injured or the referee had to tell two players to stop scuffling, I find it hard to believe that'd have any...

Of course it's not guaranteed success, but the concept of fan ownership isn't destined for failure by default either. I personally think it'd go tits up for us, but that's just because everything anyways does whatever happens

FC United have jumped up four tiers in just over 10 years, that has to be regarded as successful surely.

At the 11th hour the WiFi started working at their offices again and they had a look at the highlights of our season on Youtube

Are they going to be belting them in from outside the ground? Might need more than six each. Hoping that anyone (even panto villain Tim Fisher) may have to fear for their life from a nutjob is mental.

Lou Ferrigno scared the bejesus out of me when he'd turn into the Hulk on that show, I still can't watch it without feeling a little anxious.

I remember Sonny Pike appearing on the Big Breakfast with his big hair doing keepie-ups in an Ajax kit. Next England superstar guaranteed, they said.

If tickets aren't selling, at least we know socks are

Being nice has changed loads of things, we're just back on the downward trajectory where everything in the world is horrendous again.

There might be a spike over the weekend, I'd imagine quite a lot of people prefer to buy a paper ticket in person than the DIY online method.

Make sure you politely turn him down if he offers you coffee, and definitely no milk and sugar

I'm always taken aback by the amount of people who wander round at the start of a game looking at their ticket before realising they're in the completely wrong block. I might just know where I'm going by habit alone but surely everything's pretty well signposted?

I'm watching on the Beeb this year. I normally go with Sky but they've ditched big Kev and Neil Reynolds is a toolshed, whereas 'Chappers', Osi Umenyiora and Jason Bell have been ace on that weekly show after MOTD.