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Tim has a tattoo of Limahl across his chest.

Tim finds his fingers so amusing that he cannot glimpse them even for a second without grinning from ear to ear. However one glance at his own toes and he falls into floods of tears.

Tory polls in 2015 were at 36% and resulted in a majority of 12 seats. They are now polling at 44%; even before the nation gets to hear Jezza and his mates self-destructing on TV. I expect the SNP to be very against this; they have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Libs to gain seats...

Like a flamingo, Tim can only sleep whilst stood on one leg in water.

It's good of you to travel all the way from the 1950s to share this post.

Unlike Meat Loaf, Tim would do 'that' for love.

Tim developed this formula at the start of the season to calculate P, our final position in the league. After hours of work, he solved it this week. He got P=25.

Is that really all you need to know?

After an unfortunate mix-up in Las Vegas, Tim once accidentally married an Elvis impersonator. When startled, Tim immediately goes into hibernation; a state that can last for up to 30 minutes.

You're a fine one to talk. We're just writing nonsense on a forum. You've gone to the trouble of encouraging weirdness by establishing an independent awards body. And then you give out annual awards every couple of weeks.

Spam him with questions about the item.

You said that about my last thread. I can't win it twice in the same year.

Despite having been picked up on it in every interview, to this day Tim claims on his CV to have "invented Pythagoras's Theorem" The first thing Tim says to people when he meets them for the first time is to tell them how old he is.

What, ever?

There that's 10. Good enough for a CET article.

His favourite singer is 80s Welsh crooner Bonny Tyler. He owns a rare 12" picture disc of her singing a Gilbert & Sullivan Medley Tim got through to the final selection stages for the design of Princess Diana's Wedding gown. His design was only rejected at the last minute because Prince...

And advise is a verb. The noun is advice. I always used to get confused between practise and practice until I realised they follow the same rule: practice is the noun.

When he was a child, he fell out with his imaginary friend and had him arrested. He trains weasels to do circus tricks as a hobby. His favourite weasel is 'Crafty Sam'. He loves Wensleydale cheese but refuses to eat it in case it makes him look less masculine. He uses his beard trimmings to...

Not even close to the amount that supporting CCFC has cost SISU.

We should all pray. Let's pack out Coventry Cathedral tomorrow - let's fill every pew. And I'll sacrifice a goat at half time... do churches have half time?