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Did you hear about the vagrant who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she replied. Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised? A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that Isn't 20% off.

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband." "The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part." Q: How many Jewish mothers...

A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?" " Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered...

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand? " The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!" Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes...

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

A healthy sex life is what keeps my marriage strong. And it will continue too as long as my wife doesn't find out.

Eamonn Holmes is to present a new chat show on SKY, his first new presenting job in five years. Good to see him bouncing back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqymcJRSbxI

The fact I was addressing was your comments that nobody can make a difference. I was in hindsight a little unfair in having a pop at you but my feelings remain the same to any fans coming on here dripping about SISU but wont make an effort to do anything constructive. Nobody has any idea how...

What a pathetic attitude to take. Fans like you deserve the club they've have got.

If enough turn up and raise funds and get noticed it's possible. You've taken the easy option of posting here and just moaning about it all.

Nice one jan. Will be there. A lot of hot air on this forum but here is your chance to actually do something so get yourselves along.

Roland Nilsson (2001–2002) Steve Ogrizovic & Trevor Peake (caretakers) (2002) Gary McAllister (2002–2003) Eric Black (2003–2004) Steve Ogrizovic (caretaker) (2004) Peter Reid (2004–2005) Adrian Heath (caretaker) (2005) Micky Adams (2005–2007) Adrian Heath (caretaker) (2007) Iain Dowie...

Most times when Andy Thorn is mentioned on SKY it is usually coupled with what a great job he is doing under the circumstances. It's only my opinion but I would guess that most people in the game look on AT favourably.

A blonde is sick of being labled a 'dumb blonde' so goes to the hairdressers to buy a brunette wig "How much are they?" she asks "£30 plus the tax"' replies the hairdresser "Forget the tax" she replies "I'll use glue.."

Impossible to judge AT until he has the same playing field as other managers.

Chelsea's celebrations ended Sunday afternoon following an open top parade, with, entirely appropriately, the parking of the bus.

The only way us fans can really have a chance of doing anything is to get a vibrant proactive supporters club going. There doesn't appear to be much of a will to make it happen though.

All players will be missed but now it's all about and has been for a while balancing the books. Expect more to go soon.