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I believe the most interesting thing about Eva Braun was actually how uninteresting she was...interesting, eh?

If I'm honest, I was just setting up the Simpsons bit that sort of backfired and I would like to bail out now. Better luck next time. What a nice young man.

What car did Mark Robins drive? I, for some reason, just imagine Hans Moleman. (Oh no, I just made my last payment...ohh....)

There is a difference between striking a conciliatory tone to facilitate negotiations and peddling Kremlin lies... Trump chose the latter.

Very fragile fanbase. Class in numbers but their support is shite. (By the way, I don't actually hate Sunderland, so not said this in malice)

See, that's how VAR should be done. Relatively quick and reversed a poor decision.

Been a grumpy arse all day because I couldn't go. Now I can't stop smiling and chanting. I am very good at not getting ahead of myself, so just enjoying the ride. COME ON!

The air molecule hit by Simms has just fucked off out of the solar system

Ref blew up before the ball went out

In terms of how he isn't needing to come back and help out defensively. Not sure why they're framing it that way, but I think that is what they mean.

Definitely the best we've played under Lampard so far. Grimes, Eccles and Rudoni all playing well, and Simms a real handful

Don't say it Don't say it Don't say it Eccles has looked decent so far

Unlucky from Simms, class. Woohoo!

Second time Clive has confused EMC with Simms

I standby I don't think there should be a coin toss for a choice of ends. Should be one of the perks of a home game.

Good to have on the clipboard ready to paste!

Utd innit

I've only ever lived in Coventry and Northampton, and the first time in Northampton I was looking at a chippy and saw they sold a "sausage roll". I thought it was a weird item for a chippy to sell, completely oblivious that it was a sausage batch... (What's the point of this story? I like stories)