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no - I can't say I've ever met a sex pest with a Chihuahua before.

but why not just get married - with a civil (non -religious) ceremony?

straight couples and civil partnerships.

I'm intrigued as to how that leads to you shoving it up your arse, though.

the label also says "suitable for home freezing". I haven't got a freezer, so that rules me out - the bastards!

in which case I take it all back. They're obviously keen to get rid of you.

= they couldn't be bothered to get you anything and hope you will have forgotten all about it in a few months time.

which is never a good look at the airport

at least 1 out of 4 is achievable

I like your list - a combination of 'likelies' , mixed in with a few 'hopefuls' (i.e Hammond)

:( no more crisp and chocolate sandwiches

+1

:emoji_musical_score: and on the 10th day of explosive diarrhoea my anus gave to me...

a carrier bag

she sounds OK :)

Blimey! ..Have you done her sister yet? :)

I was once doing a door-to-door sales job in Cardiff, and was on foot, having been dropped off by a work colleague. As the day progressed I became more and more desperate for a shit, but with no car and no pub for miles around I started to entertain the possibility of shitting on a (fairly...

i got my own back at the weekend when buying a couple of 'fake shits' as stocking fillers for my kids. not a single word from the cashier as she picked them up, one at a time, and scanned their barcodes through the scanner. I was watching her closely as she did it, and noticed a look of absolute...

perhaps he'll return, rattling his chains

bump - just in case