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We could have had carroll

this is the most excited i've been all season, lets hope it isnt the usual CET rubbish!

but that wouldnt be the biggest news since we moved to the ricoh, we've had 4 managers since then?

how many big stories have we had since we moved?

one minute we have no money what so ever, the next we're buying half the arena? can't see it happening to be honest, i really hope im wrong though!

to help us in the long term, it has to be the arena

no doubt he'll get injured

I'm trying to write a joke about an unemployed person... It needs work.

as much as i would love it to happen, i really can't see villa going down. I've been wrong many times before though!

i'll stop now ;)

I was caught masturbating in a lift yesterday. It was wrong on so many levels.

My father used to hit me with a camera, I keep on having flashbacks.

Quit my job in a helium gas factory yesterday. Refused to be spoken to in that tone.

I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands.