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I'm sure some helpful person will be uploading these onto various sites for download via PDF, free of charge. Keep your eyes peeled, it saves being ripped off.

Marvellous, almost peerless actor and whatever film I saw him in, he was captivating and stole the focus from anyone else. I know Die Hard was a side step in his career, but I'll never forget that performance. RIP Mr Rickman.

Joe Cole/Carlton Cole Robbie Fowler/Lee Fowler Derby County/Julian Darby... ...wait, I forgot where I was then...

In fact, I've already started. The git next door with the solar-strength security light is coming home to find at least 20 collected dog craps lining his flower beds. Next, I'm going to down a can of wicked-strength Oranjeboom and stand in my front garden, loudly singing Dance tracks from 1995...

We need some aggression and impetus, so I'd opt for Ruben instead of MAF. I'd like to see Hunt start, to see what he can do in L1. He'll either be anonymous or explosive.

Not that I can make a firsthand appraisal of both players, but the rumours and whispers are that they're both almost-Premiership grade. Sawyers sounds very, very handy and Bradshaw is an old-fashioned no.9 who likes to dominate his opponents. Both will go far, but not as far as our Madders...

Hairdressing, probably.

Yep, the basic consensus is to make an absolute nuisance of yourself in order to get a favourable outcome. Although this is a travesty, it's the norm.

Native Danes and Swedes are bi-lingual in both Danish and Swedish, aren't they? Plus English, which most of them speak better than the entire population of Birmingham... Also, after watching so much Scandinavian noir for a year now, I actually find myself cursing in Swedish a lot..."Fan!" and...

Did this proposal involve a hot tub full of beans, a hedgehog, and three litres of industrial strength KY Jelly? :o

I know, it's a shit predicament to be in, I do empathise. I've been in two situations like this, one was quite serious and I lost my rag one night and drove my car through his lawn, aiming at him. I'm usually as laid back as anyone, but if someone is wronging me or my family, they'll get...

Oh, indeed, I have had 'experiences' with nuisance neighbours, one to the point where I had to physically threaten the arsehole 'father' figure to either quieten things down, or I'd cave his face in. Violence is never the recourse, in an ideal world, but this ilk really have no concept of...

Think of a witty, apt, suitable and sarcastic 'slogan' for a company, car firm, retailers, person, anything. Easy, cheap entertainment, this. For instance, an Audi advert on tele could conclude with: "You don't have to be a wanker to drive the new Audi Kn0b5...but it helps."

Are you an employee of Soundmagic? :D I'm definitely getting a pair though, £40 is just the right price.

Can't quite wrap my head around this, tbh...booing a team 4th in the table, after drawing with the team in 3rd...hmm. There's a category for this type of phenomenon, y'know...ungratefulus thickus bastardius.

Uh-huh, but I doubt even 1% of them could have played in the best post-Hill City side, in the Premiership. It's a matter of opinion, I guess.

An independent analysis would rule out/confirm the squiggly A, good job I have several forensic scientists holed up in my shed. They're not making Meth, honest.

Possibly, but I thought it was a crap, squiggly 'R', myself.

I can't see the spelling error, myself. But aye, fair play to our snowy Scandinavian posse. When we had Nilsson, I had an urge to shag Sweden for giving us such a supernaturally gifted player.

See, I'm sure Ramage can play RB too, but perhaps his fitness is not quite optimal at the moment; very keen to see Lorentzson too, mate, he'll make a few waves down that right flank, imo. It's difficult to keep a cool, level head sometimes, as a fan; this is a very, very promising season for...