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Top five of the United Kingdom? That means we're just below the Isle of Man.

You should see the way he walks to betfred.

So if he takes off the best penalty taker the nation has ever had, I'm thinking he's thinking we're gonna win this in Extra time. Is this an unprecedented outbreak of positivity from Southgate or just another example of clueless game management?

I can't be arsed to check. Come on my community!

I just missed the goal for Seasick Steve! Who scored?

Seasick Steve to the rescue yet again of an ever increasing shitfest.

In all honesty, given the referee, given the shithousery by the Slovaks, I reckon we just about deserve another half hour at this.

If I was Toney I would look Shitgate firmly in the eye and refuse to come on and tell him "Because I know my international career is gonna be longer than yours". That Bellingham thing was great by the way.

And repeat....

Remember - This is a ground he hasn't scored on before.

Where's a lightening strike on the England 'technical' area when you need one?

Maybe he hasn't - he's exactly nailed the amount of cards.

That challenge on Rice was a straight red!

He's even fucked up his own bet!

Celebrity get me out of here? I wouldn't want to be associated with this shower.

Phew! Thank god for that. Now lets get back to passing it backwards in our own half.

Miles offside.

Can't knock Southgate for consistency - Clueless, spineless, boring.

I think Southgate is the International version of MR when it comes to substitutions - I desperately hope to be proven wrong.

If that wasn't deliberate, what is? Why no yellow card?