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That'll take a while.

So it's not people going to a football match? I'm confused.

Jesus. Where to begin?

What's that river in Egypt called again?

Eh?

What's a Sepella?

If he does then that's one less relegation slot up for grabs.

Must have improved immensely since we had him then. Fit right into our completely dogshit team of 2007-8. The only good thing about it was he was only on loan. Truly fucking useless.

What the blue fuck?

Am I missing something? Is there a reason you can't stand on the hill and watch without paying? Your view will be shite but it'll be better than staying at home... right?

You need to switch over to TNA and check out the norks on Taryn.

It is indeed. I won't ask how you recognised her from that picture.

Seems like an obvious one to me. First time I saw her the then-Mrs Maniac became surplus to requirements for about 2 days.

No, you got it right. The snooker player is spelt with a v. I just wanted to do the cue gag.

Wait until it breaks. Ha, another snooker pun.

:D

Potted the brown?

Cue a string of snooker puns.

I don't think you know what 'protagonist' means.

Seems pretty well-informed, if a little one-eyed. Nice sentences, very easy to read. Small pointer: try to eliminate all your typos before you publish. It looks tidier. I can't even work out what 'wprled' is meant to be. Also, where you've put 'lurked', is that really the word you want? It might...