Bad joke corner (2 Viewers)

redsox

Facebook User
A man goes into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm. He asks 'Do you sell fish cakes here?'
'No' was the reply. 'Shame, it's his birthday.'

My current bad joke, have you got any that are worse???
 

redsox

Facebook User
If a man talks in a forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? :wave:
 

redsox

Facebook User
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.:laugh:

Sorry I'll stop ;)......for now!!
 

redsox

Facebook User
Julius Caesar walked into a bar. He said to the bartender, "I'd like a martinus." The bartender, a little confused, says, don't you mean a martini?" Caesar replied, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it."

:laugh: ok so I lied!!
 

redsox

Facebook User
David Icke DVDs use special Region Codes which make them only playable in the homes of insane people
 

redsox

Facebook User
Rick Astley has just been round, wanting to borrow my Pixar collection. I said, "I can give you Wall-E, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc & Cars, but I'm never going to give you Up". lol:laugh:
 

redsox

Facebook User
I have animal magnetism.......When I go outside, squirrels stick to my clothes!
 

redsox

Facebook User
There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.:laugh:
 

redsox

Facebook User
A teacher at a school for obese children has been sacked for taking cocaine. He was given away by his massive pupils. :))
 

redsox

Facebook User
The Tories are to invest in a revolutionary Spaghetti delivery service to show their support for the first pasta post system.:laugh::laugh::laugh:
 

redsox

Facebook User
I wouldn't touch the imperial measuring system with a 3.048m barge pole...
 

redsox

Facebook User
A man was found hanging in a hotel room wearing a Villa shirt, high-heels and fishnet stockings, and there was a large dildo inserted in his arse. Police have removed the Villa shirt to save his family any embarrassment... :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 

redsox

Facebook User
An insecure friend of mine said the other day, "everyone hates me!"
"Don't be daft," I reassured him. "Everyone hasn't met you yet..."
 

redsox

Facebook User
People who live in glass houses shouldn't wank with the lights on...:slap:
 

redsox

Facebook User
I've just seen that Suggs bloke on telly having a go at all those people who have a go at people wearing turbans. It's Madness gone politically correct!
 

redsox

Facebook User
A woman goes to a gynaecologist. Whilst examining her, the doctor asks, "So, have you ever had a check up here before?" She replies, "No, but I have had some Germans and an Austrian.":laugh:
 

redsox

Facebook User
A friend of mine married an East European and was complaining his unhappiness with the speed she did the housework. I replied ' well you did marry a Slovak! ' :whistle:
 

redsox

Facebook User
What do you call a woman with two dicks?

N-Dubz :laugh::laugh::laugh:
 

redsox

Facebook User
I see Birmingham is getting ready for the Olympics. The town centre is full of people wandering around in tracksuits, taking drugs and struggling to speak English....:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
 

redsox

Facebook User
If a tree falls in a forest and there's no one there to hear it, is Robbie Williams still a twat?
 

skybluedan

Well-Known Member
today i brought some sausages from sainsburys they had a picture of jaime oliver on them and on the back it says prick with a fork,thought cant argue with that
 

redsox

Facebook User
Glad to be of service:wave: (nothing at all to do with being bored at work!!!!.........mmmmmm)
 

redsox

Facebook User
My gran joined a local help group for old people with arthritis and rheumatism. She soon left though - it was too clicky.:p
 

Nelson

Banned
:)

Two Antennas got married - the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.
 

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