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Work colleagues dying (3 Viewers)

  • Thread starter Sky Blue Pete
  • Start date Tuesday at 9:03 AM
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Sky Blue Pete

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 9:03 AM
  • #1
Anyone else experiencing this?
First guy had at least retired and was just 70 the most recent lady is my age and was such a lovely person

Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?
 
Reactions: Otis

Ccfc_Addy

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 9:18 AM
  • #2
Sky Blue Pete said:
Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?
Click to expand...
The first thing to say is: I hope you're okay. Grief and existential angst often go hand-in-hand and I think we've all felt this way from time to time.

My two penneth on this is that a human being is not defined by what they did for a living or how quickly their employer moves on after they've left. What truly defines a person is how they've made other people feel during their time with us; the kindness they give, the laughter they share, all the positivity we give out in our lives has ripple effects we will never know about that will outlast us. That you still speak about the lady with fondness probably says everything we need to know.
 
Reactions: mullingar, Sky_Blue_Dreamer, steve101 and 8 others

Sbarcher

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 9:23 AM
  • #3
Had a situation some years ago where we were good friends as well as colleagues. We were out for a meal on a Friday night with our wives and on Saturday morning got a call to say one of the guys had a heart attack whilst posting a letter in Warwick Square.
Hit everyone really hard having been with him only a few hours earlier.
Funny thing is that this hit me harder than losing an elderly relative whose time was up and still think about him to this day.
 

Mcbean

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 9:40 AM
  • #4
I worked for MF for nearly 40
Years and sadly it happens regularly now in my sixties - however we have a meeting every month in a pub with around 30 ex colleagues and within this group it’s inevitable but we always talk with affection about our colleagues and you hear a lot of different anecdotes - in my time as a manager I had two of my staff die quite young including my best man and it was pretty tough as we were very close at work - you spend more time with your work colleagues sometimes than your family

Remember them with affection and relate the good times to their family when you have a chance !
 
Reactions: Flying Fokker, wingy, Ccfc_Addy and 3 others
C

CBS16

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 9:48 AM
  • #5
Sorry your loss fella, I hope you're okay
 
Reactions: wingy and Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:11 AM
  • #6
Sky Blue Pete said:
Anyone else experiencing this?
First guy had at least retired and was just 70 the most recent lady is my age and was such a lovely person

Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear how this is affecting you, Pete.

I cannot find any point at all, but just hang in there, is the best I can come up with. And for me, I live each day like it could be my last day on earth

So I try to smile as much as I can and try and be nice to everyone I encounter.

Love not hate
 
Reactions: AOM, duffer, CCFCSteve and 1 other person

Mcbean

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:16 AM
  • #7
Without the people left behind there would be no memories of the great times - life can be very cruel so cherish every new day with a smile and talk
 
Reactions: Otis

Sky Blue Pete

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:20 AM
  • #8
Had a revelation that I do focus on the past rather than what’s to come and you’ve both said quite similar things there

This has hit hard they can’t have been much older than me 53
 
Reactions: Otis

duffer

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:30 AM
  • #9
It's hard losing a friend, bitter and brutal, but don't lose hope.

What you say, and what you do matters, Pete. To your friends here and to all those around you.

As to whether there's a point to our existence, personally I don't trouble myself with that thought too much. If there is, my assumption is that I've been put here either as a bad example or for comic relief.

Either is fine, as long as my ultimate reward is to be reincarnated with the wings of an eagle and the arse of a f**king great cow. In which case, Villa should be worried...

Chin up, Pete, you are appreciated and needed here - even if only by me.


 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete, Mcbean, CCFCSteve and 1 other person

Captain Dart

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:32 AM
  • #10
Sky Blue Pete said:
Anyone else experiencing this?
First guy had at least retired and was just 70 the most recent lady is my age and was such a lovely person

Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?
Click to expand...
You accumulate the more sad events like this the older you get.
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete and Otis

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:33 AM
  • #11
Sky Blue Pete said:
Had a revelation that I do focus on the past rather than what’s to come and you’ve both said quite similar things there

This has hit hard they can’t have been much older than me 53
Click to expand...
Makes so much less sense when they are not that old doesn't it.

I lost one brother when he was 55 and my other brother has had two wives die on him and Em's (my partner) friend had one partner die of cancer and then, after a while, met someone else and they died of cancer too

All of the above, apart from my brother, were well under 50.

Sad isn't it. It does make you question everything
 
Reactions: Captain Dart, Sky Blue Pete and CCFCSteve

duffer

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:34 AM
  • #12
Otis said:
Sorry to hear how this is affecting you, Pete.

I cannot find any point at all, but just hang in there, is the best I can come up with. And for me, I live each day like it could be my last day on earth

So I try to smile as much as I can and try and be nice to everyone I encounter.

Love not hate
Click to expand...

I can vouch for Otis having no fear of death - I've seen how he drives.
 
Reactions: Sky_Blue_Dreamer, Captain Dart, Sky Blue Pete and 2 others

Mcbean

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:39 AM
  • #13
duffer said:
I can vouch for Otis having no fear of death - I've seen how he drives.
Click to expand...
Christ ! Good job we have got you Feckers - just spat me breakfast
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete and duffer
C

CCFCSteve

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 10:40 AM
  • #14
Sky Blue Pete said:
Had a revelation that I do focus on the past rather than what’s to come and you’ve both said quite similar things there

This has hit hard they can’t have been much older than me 53
Click to expand...

We are all guilty of taking life for granted. As others have said, we should make the most of the time we’ve got, try to be a good/decent person and improve the lives of others around us. Unfortunately then to some extent, what will be will be, but if we can do the all of the above there will have been a point and it wont have been a waste

My condolences
 
Reactions: Sick Boy, Otis, duffer and 1 other person

olderskyblue

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 11:13 AM
  • #15
Mcbean said:
I worked for MF for nearly 40
Years and sadly it happens regularly now in my sixties - however we have a meeting every month in a pub with around 30 ex colleagues and within this group it’s inevitable but we always talk with affection about our colleagues and you hear a lot of different anecdotes - in my time as a manager I had two of my staff die quite young including my best man and it was pretty tough as we were very close at work - you spend more time with your work colleagues sometimes than your family

Remember them with affection and relate the good times to their family when you have a chance !
Click to expand...
When I worked there, guy in my dept. committed suicide. In his 40’s I think, but tough to handle for us, as hadn’t realised he was in any “pain”. Always asking yourself if there was anything you could have done.

My best pal from MF died recently, he’d worked there for around 30 years, and was in his 80’s when he died, but still feeling the loss. Should be thinking “well, he had a good life” but that doesn’t help much.

its tough whatever age they are if you knew them
 
Reactions: duffer, Otis, Sky Blue Pete and 1 other person

Sky_Blue_Daz

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 11:20 AM
  • #16
Sorry for your loss , I worked with an absolute gem of a women a few years ago . Her and her partner were getting married , he hadnt been feeling to well and was diagnosed with cancer they postponed the wedding and he died on what would of been thier wedding day.
A month or two later she went away with her friend for a few days break and choked to death whilst having a meal. She was truly was truly a wonderful woman and did not deserve the last two years of her life
 
Reactions: wingy, RegTheDonk, CCFCSteve and 3 others

Sky Blue Pete

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 11:38 AM
  • #17
Sky_Blue_Daz said:
Sorry for your loss , I worked with an absolute gem of a women a few years ago . Her and her partner were getting married , he hadnt been feeling to well and was diagnosed with cancer they postponed the wedding and he died on what would of been thier wedding day.
A month or two later she went away with her friend for a few days break and choked to death whilst having a meal. She was truly was truly a wonderful woman and did not deserve the last two years of her life
Click to expand...
Fuckin hell!!!!
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 11:40 AM
  • #18
Otis said:
Makes so much less sense when they are not that old doesn't it.

I lost one brother when he was 55 and my other brother has had two wives die on him and Em's (my partner) friend had one partner die of cancer and then, after a while, met someone else and they died of cancer too

All of the above, apart from my brother, were well under 50.

Sad isn't it. It does make you question everything
Click to expand...
Especially as I was waiting for my ex, Russian wife, to pop over there for a holiday , in the hope she might at some point, accidentally fall out of a Moscow window, or perish in a salt mine, but no, she's still walking around and is absolutely fine.

Life ain't fair..
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 11:40 AM
  • #19
Sky_Blue_Daz said:
Sorry for your loss , I worked with an absolute gem of a women a few years ago . Her and her partner were getting married , he hadnt been feeling to well and was diagnosed with cancer they postponed the wedding and he died on what would of been thier wedding day.
A month or two later she went away with her friend for a few days break and choked to death whilst having a meal. She was truly was truly a wonderful woman and did not deserve the last two years of her life
Click to expand...
So sorry to hear, Daz.
 

Brighton Sky Blue

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 11:47 AM
  • #20
Two colleagues of mine died of heart attacks in my last few years of teaching. More recently the wife lost one of hers in the same way, all blokes in their 50s and were all in decent shape. Lovely people and it felt very strange seeing their desks get cleared out, interviews held for their replacements and so on. To compound matters, all of them had children attending the same schools as their dads, it was heartbreaking stuff.

Grief is the price we pay for love
 
Reactions: CCFCSteve, Terry_dactyl, Sick Boy and 3 others

Terry_dactyl

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 11:53 AM
  • #21
It’s really rough…colleagues often become our closest friends right?
A bloke in my old team died of cancer a few years back. He went kinda quick. He was quite a bit older than me.
It was a strange one, I liked him and we’d chat quite a bit but his rep amongst a lot of the others wasn’t great. If there was a scapegoat, he was it.
Interesting how all that changed when he died. Be nice people.
Made me think about some of those people…
 
Reactions: Mcbean, Brighton Sky Blue, Otis and 1 other person

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 12:10 PM
  • #22
Terry_dactyl said:
It’s really rough…colleagues often become our closest friends right?
A bloke in my old team died of cancer a few years back. He went kinda quick. He was quite a bit older than me.
It was a strange one, I liked him and we’d chat quite a bit but his rep amongst a lot of the others wasn’t great. If there was a scapegoat, he was it.
Interesting how all that changed when he died. Be nice people.
Made me think about some of those people…
Click to expand...
Yup. As the old saying goes "If you can't say anything nice about someone, get AI to conjure up a little insult on your behalf and post it up on social media everywhere "

Or something like that.
 
Reactions: CCFCSteve, Terry_dactyl and Sky Blue Pete

Marty

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 12:43 PM
  • #23
Nothing really matters and nobody matters to anyone other than a select few (which you can probably count on one hand).

When I first started working in my current job, I started on a Wednesday, someone retired on the Friday and was dead by the Monday. Always said to myself from then on that as soon as I can afford to retire I'm done.
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete, Flying Fokker, fernandopartridge and 3 others

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 1:18 PM
  • #24
Marty said:
Nothing really matters and nobody matters to anyone other than a select few (which you can probably count on one hand).

When I first started working in my current job, I started on a Wednesday, someone retired on the Friday and was dead by the Monday. Always said to myself from then on that as soon as I can afford to retire I'm done.
Click to expand...
I retired early. Best thing I ever did .
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete, Marty, duffer and 1 other person

Terry_dactyl

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 1:38 PM
  • #25
Otis said:
I retired early. Best thing I ever did .
Click to expand...
I’m desperately hoping it’s an option. I can’t take another 20 years!!
 
Reactions: Otis

Sky_Blue_Daz

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 1:41 PM
  • #26
My wife has told me she's retiring at 55 , she will have done over 30 years with the NHS by then. That's enough for anyone.

Good luck to her
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete, CCFCSteve, Captain Dart and 5 others

Brighton Sky Blue

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 1:43 PM
  • #27
Sky_Blue_Daz said:
My wife has told me she's retiring at 55 , she will have done over 30 years with the NHS by then. That's enough for anyone.

Good luck to her
Click to expand...
Many thanks to her for all her hard work.
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete, CCFCSteve, duffer and 2 others

Terry_dactyl

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 1:53 PM
  • #28
Sky_Blue_Daz said:
My wife has told me she's retiring at 55 , she will have done over 30 years with the NHS by then. That's enough for anyone.

Good luck to her
Click to expand...
I’d be interested to hear her experiences of working for the NHS. I hear a lot of horror stories.

55 would be a great age to retire.
 
Reactions: Otis

chiefdave

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 1:55 PM
  • #29
Way things are going I'm not sure I'll get to retire before dropping down dead.

In my job we deal with a lot of other companies and its a fairly regular occurrence that we have to process a 'leaver' and its turns out they've died and on more than one occasion its happened while they're at work.
 

Sky_Blue_Daz

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 2:02 PM
  • #30
Terry_dactyl said:
I’d be interested to hear her experiences of working for the NHS. I hear a lot of horror stories.

55 would be a great age to retire.
Click to expand...
She started in 1998 and actually persuaded me against doing my nurse training about 15 years ago as even then she said the job had changed so much and Nurses don't always have the time to provide the face to face patient care that they should , I work within the NHS as a carer at all the special needs schools in Coventry and a respite centre for kids that have learning disabilities and life limiting illnesses . I feel very lucky to work with then children and their families . It can be hard but ultimately very rewarding { extra couple of grand a year wouldnt go a miss
 
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Brighton Sky Blue

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 2:08 PM
  • #31
Sky_Blue_Daz said:
She started in 1998 and actually persuaded me against doing my nurse training about 15 years ago as even then she said the job had changed so much and Nurses don't always have the time to provide the face to face patient care that they should , I work within the NHS as a carer at all the special needs schools in Coventry and a respite centre for kids that have learning disabilities and life limiting illnesses . I feel very lucky to work with then children and their families . It can be hard but ultimately very rewarding { extra couple of grand a year wouldnt go a miss
Click to expand...
Our recent experiences in hospital were very positive with respect to midwives and nurses. Mostly very dedicated people trying their best, couldn't be more supportive and especially in a ward full of crying babies.

The NHS like state education is held together by duct tape and goodwill.
 
Reactions: Sick Boy, Sky Blue Pete, Terry_dactyl and 1 other person

Terry_dactyl

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 2:21 PM
  • #32
Sky_Blue_Daz said:
She started in 1998 and actually persuaded me against doing my nurse training about 15 years ago as even then she said the job had changed so much and Nurses don't always have the time to provide the face to face patient care that they should , I work within the NHS as a carer at all the special needs schools in Coventry and a respite centre for kids that have learning disabilities and life limiting illnesses . I feel very lucky to work with then children and their families . It can be hard but ultimately very rewarding { extra couple of grand a year wouldnt go a miss
Click to expand...
Sounds like an amazing way to earn a living mate…a real privilege. I can only imagine how tough it must be at times. I knew you were a carer but not that you were employed by the NHS too.
 
Reactions: Sky_Blue_Daz and Otis

Flying Fokker

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 2:44 PM
  • #33
Sky Blue Pete said:
Anyone else experiencing this?
First guy had at least retired and was just 70 the most recent lady is my age and was such a lovely person

Anyone any words of wisdom on what’s the point? Does anything we do really matter?
Click to expand...


Retire as early as you can? If you can bridge (With capital) between State Pension age and now, then think seriously about finishing.

My dad died aged 41 and left wife and 4 kids 17,16,14 and 4. I kept looking at my meagre company pension(s) until I’d had enough. Then it was take 25% lump sums/ reduce non-essential spending for a while.

Wife retired 12 months later. It’s not as scary as you think. I’ve never once missed my old job although miss the contact with the people.
 
Reactions: Mcbean, wingy and Otis

Flying Fokker

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 2:49 PM
  • #34
Sky_Blue_Daz said:
My wife has told me she's retiring at 55 , she will have done over 30 years with the NHS by then. That's enough for anyone.

Good luck to her
Click to expand...
AVC’s. 30 years will give approx 3/8 final salary if she doesn’t take the lump sum. Save. It will happen sooner than she thinks. Plus, she may have to retire at 57?
 
Reactions: Sky_Blue_Daz

Sky_Blue_Daz

Well-Known Member
  • Tuesday at 3:00 PM
  • #35
Flying Fokker said:
AVC’s. 30 years will give approx 3/8 final salary if she doesn’t take the lump sum. Save. It will happen sooner than she thinks. Plus, she may have to retire at 57?
Click to expand...
Well i'm not telling her
 
Reactions: Sky Blue Pete, Flying Fokker and Otis
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