Right, Years ago I was Working in a pub in Crewe, And the Stella Lager was on one a pump with The Big Porcelain Handles.
A Guy Came in and asked for a pint of Stella and I Could'nt pull The Handle Down on The pump I tried and tried and it would'nt move, So I Called The Landlord over in a loudish Voice as it was quite noisy I Shouted........
''Ian Come and Do this for me, The longer I pull it the harder it gets''
I've said millions of stupid things, hard to think of the single most embarrassing one.
There was one time(playing football), when I was trying to argue, that a shot, which went wide, and then over the goalpost (we were using jumpers), went in. That ended up being quite embarrassing when everyone figured out that I was wrong...
And then there was an occasion in which I accidentally slipped out a lol in a conversaton.
Oh Gosh, I've just thought of another, We were playing pool one night it was getting Quite late and there was a few people waiting for a game. A Guy put his money in the Table and just stood talking to his mate for ages, I got fed up and Shouted ............
'' Could you hurry up and get your Balls out We are waiting to play''........
The Room went Silent THEN I Realised what I'd said
Now that i've thought about it, I remember calling one of my old teachers mum accidentally in front of the whole class.... took people a while to get forget that
I think they were more embarrassed than anything, and so was I the next day!
To be fair they've been good about it since, they saw the funny side of it. Think they knew I meant my dad didn't like the man who sacked him rather than the French overall!
I was working in telesales and was just about to close a sale ...... My pager went off.....(message from the boyfriend) i reached down for it and started to read...... not realising i was still on the phone ...... i made a comment to the message out loud that went a little something like this ........." the bastards gone n given me thrush" .............. i could have died there n then .... and i never closed the sale ... and the boyfriend....... well last i heard he was working a door in town ... never saw him again .
At school I put my hand up in the middle of assembley when the head asked "Does anyone know who's celebrating their 100th birthday today..?" - after a few jeers and shouts of "the queen" and "your mum", I calmly answered..."Barbie". And I was right, because I'd seen it on Newsround the night before.
But what the flock was I thinking?! If only I knew then what I know now etc etc!