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Suppose they have to advertise somewhere (1 Viewer)

  • Thread starter Otis
  • Start date Oct 17, 2011
Forums New posts

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #1
MI5 - English Language Analysts

London | £27,582 inc. shift allowance

There are few jobs more rewarding - or important - than these front-line intelligence roles at MI5. 24 hours a day, our team of English Language Analysts listen to lawfully intercepted conversations, picking out essential information that will help us counter terrorism across the UK.

Join us, in this close-knit team, and you will analyse telephone conversations and eavesdropping product for some of MI5's highest-priority operations. The majority of your time will be spent listening to audio material. You'll also need strong communication skills in order to produce clear verbal and written reports for colleagues and our operational partners. It's a fast-paced environment with frequently changing operational objectives - so you'll need to be adaptable and able to remain calm under pressure. You are likely to be interested in current affairs and aware of the threats facing the UK, but above all, you should have a strong desire to help protect national security.



Discretion is vital. You should not discuss your application, other than with a partner or close family member.




Did amuse me though when I got this email alert from Monster Jobs.

Must have left the field 'spy' on when I filtered out all the Industry/Sector fields I felt weren't appropriate for me on my online job search selection.

Suppose they've got to advertise somewhere haven't they.

Just remember though, keep it under your hat.
 

rob9872

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #2
With London weighting and shift patten allowance that really is a poor salary for the checks you must go through to work there.
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #3
I honestly thought it was a wind-up. Apparently not though.

Next time I have an interview at the Job Centre and they ask what I want to do I am going tell them I wish to become a spy!
 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #4
That is an absolutely shocking wage. To think about the potential dangers that you are putting yourself in for as little as that. I'm sure that you could earn more than that at Mcdonalds in Landan.
 
W

wingy

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #5
Its probably not in london,more likely a capita call centre somewhere in south wales or foleshill rd,in fact i'm gobsmacked its not subbed out to india
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #6
Now you lot are all making me smile too.

Think the point I was trying to highlight was the fact that MI5 are advertising on Monster Jobs for spies, and yet all the responses have been about how it's not a very decent wage for the London area.


:claping hands:
 
W

wingy

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #7
Its a technical role is'nt it,just reliant on stiff vetting and report writing ,they'd have programmes running for keywords as a trigger i'd assume,backroom stuff
 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #8
I think that it's not unusual that MI5 or any other employer advertises vacancies on a jobsite Otis. They are not spies, they are just people that listen to conversations. Spies are a totally different pay grade and I would be surprised if they advertised on Monster jobs.
 
W

wingy

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #9
We're all being encouraged to spy if you saw that 10 oclock show on beeb 1 yesterday, from dodgy terrorist types to dole cheats and tax dodgers,there was some bloke from a rigthwing think tank ,can't recall his name ,always on question time and those sunday morning religious shows all for it .the critics cited the Stasi +russia as bad models ,strangely ommitted the Mcarthy era in USA
 

CovKingChris

Facebook User
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #10
I find these websites like jobsite etc. so annoying. After signing up and spending like 30mins filtering what I want to receive, I start to get stupid e-mails like "Fitness Instructor - Edinburgh" & "Full Time Maths Teacher".

I set it that I can only work part time and within 10miles of Coventry. Waste of time they are.
 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #11
I've just started a jobs thread
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #12
Must be the day for it. Just found another one on Fish4jobs.co.uk.



Assassin


Ref:RV ELA Oct 11
Location:Worldwide
Salary:£500,000
Closing date:04 November 2011

Person specification.: Seeking someone with an ingoing personality who does not work well as part of a team. Accuracy and attention to detail are crucial. We offer an unsocial hours allowance and a generous death in service benefit. Must be happy working at heights and able to hit set targets.


To apply for this job please email Mr. X at wewillkillanyoneifthepriceisright@bitethebullet.com



 
Last edited: Oct 17, 2011

The Reverend Skyblue

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #13
I'm really interested in the spy job. Just think you're be working with people called Pussy Galore and Alota Vagina, but my downfall could be that instead of asking for a sweet Martini shaken but not stirred,which is horrible, i would have to ask for a pint of John Smiths, which would make me stand out a bit.
Also i could'nt use James Bond as everyone knows him, but i thought about using Roger Ring.
Got to go as my application needs to be in the post asap.

The Rev
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #14
For me it would be a Sweet Lambrini and I would go by the name Jimmy Premium.
 

Marty

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #15
I have actually done a very similar role for a private company, no-where near on that much though it's fairly easy work though but very boring, most of the time was spent going through CCTV evidence to show in court. i was only there a few months as they closed down shortly after i joined them :facepalm:
 

We'll_live_and_die

Super Moderator
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #16
Tia maria and coke (black russian) for me and I would use the name jeanie house. Say it quick if you dont get it first time.
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #17
Marty said:
I have actually done a very similar role for a private company, no-where near on that much though it's fairly easy work though but very boring, most of the time was spent going through CCTV evidence to show in court. i was only there a few months as they closed down shortly after i joined them :facepalm:
Click to expand...



Hmmm.... :thinking about: You joined them and then they shut down ...... :thinking about: Who are you, Mr. Bean?
 

Marty

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #18
Otis said:
Hmmm.... :thinking about: You joined them and then they shut down ...... :thinking about: Who are you, Mr. Bean?
Click to expand...

i'm not far off
 

The Reverend Skyblue

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #19
Rich, i've been saying jeanie house really quickly and i still don't get it.Could you tell me where i'm going wrong.Sorry about this but i'm slow off the mark.

The Rev
 

The Reverend Skyblue

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #20
duplicated


The Rev
 
Last edited: Oct 17, 2011
W

wingy

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #21
TRy it with scottish accent REV
 

The Reverend Skyblue

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 17, 2011
  • #22
wingy, ahhh i've finally got it. Thanks

The Rev
 
M

Macca

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 18, 2011
  • #23
Monster jobs? Monster shite more like.

Now thats incisive wit
 

Otis

Well-Known Member
  • Oct 18, 2011
  • #24
Signed up with them all. Monster, Fish 4, Total, Reed, CV Library, Jobrapido, Jobsite, Jobserve, Direct Gov etc. etc. etc. .................

I do now actually have a full time job .....................................




Scouring job sites all day long.
 
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